Missed some of the Oscars last night? No problem, we've got you covered. Here's our chronological run-down of the good, bad and downright ugly so you can keep up at the water cooler.

6:30 pm
Note to Ben Mulroney: You're in LA, not travelling through Europe. You can put the maple leaf away. Saying stuff like "Come talk to Canada" and "Hi, I'm Ben from Canada" isn't going to win you any friends on the carpet.

Why does eTalk's Tanya Kim keep talking about margarine? Turns out the Heart & Stroke Foundation commissioned a two-minute film by Sarah Polley, which ran during the Oscars commercial breaks. But when Polley found out the film would also be used to promote Becel, she pulled her name from the project. Good call! The constant Becel shout-outs are totally off-putting.

Missed some of the Oscars last night? No problem, we've got you covered. Here's our chronological run-down of the good, bad and downright ugly so you can keep up at the water cooler.

6:30 pm
Note to Ben Mulroney: You're in LA, not travelling through Europe. You can put the maple leaf away. Saying stuff like "Come talk to Canada" and "Hi, I'm Ben from Canada" isn't going to win you any friends on the carpet.

Why does eTalk's Tanya Kim keep talking about margarine? Turns out the Heart & Stroke Foundation commissioned a two-minute film by Sarah Polley, which ran during the Oscars commercial breaks. But when Polley found out the film would also be used to promote Becel, she pulled her name from the project. Good call! The constant Becel shout-outs are totally off-putting.

8:30 pm
The Academy trots out all the best actor/actress nominees to do... absolutely nothing? What a waste of time! But wait, here's Neil Patrick Harris to perform a song-and-dance, yes! I like his shiny suit.

Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin start roasting the nominees, with mixed results. What's up with George Clooney's bitch face? Is that part of the act, or is he really not a fan of the twosome's banter?

Uh oh, Cameron Diaz is totally spaced out. Good thing Steve Carrell is there to steer her back on track.

9:00 pm
Here's Miley, looking very thin and very orange (like many other stars at the show).

'Crazy Heart' won Best Song! Why does T-Bone Burnett always wear sunglasses inside? And how tall is he, anyway – like seven feet?

Why is Chris Pine at the Oscars? Dating Audrina from 'The Hills' should be a dealbreaker for such things.

Hello, Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr.! Nice pairing. Though RDJ's weird blue sunglasses are totally distracting. Seriously, what's up with all the sunglasses inside?

Random -- why are Jason Bateman and Jane Seymour sitting together?

Speaking of random, it's Molly Ringwald! Is that a wig? She's certainly aging better than Matthew Broderick.

OMG!! Brat Pack reunion!!!! Of course crazy Judd Nelson is wearing sunglasses inside. Glad he got the memo about that. Maybe he, T-Bone and RDJ will all go meet up with Jack Nicholson later and complete the indoor sunglasses possé.

Here's that "short film" commissioned by Becel. Interesting idea. At least the Becel branding isn't too overt.

9:30 pm
Wow, Ben Stiller's 'Avatar' makeup is amazing. I would have like to have seen what Sasha Baron Cohen had planned for this segment, though. Too bad the Academy pulled it...

Ooh, The Dude is presenting the Coen Brothers' movie. Too bad 'A Serious Man' isn't half as good as 'The Big Lebowski'. How did it get a Best Picture nod?

Liking this Jake Gyllenhaal/ Rachel McAdams pairing. Why haven't they co-starred in a movie together yet? We'll give it a few more weeks before they start dating.

Ah, Cameron Diaz. Chewing gum at the Oscars. Where does she put it when she's done, under the seat in front of her?

Mo'Nique wins for Best Supporting Actress. No surprise there. What's up with her overly-dramatic, drawn-out way of speaking lately?

10:00 pm
Avatar nabs its first (out of not too many) win of the night for Best Art Direction. "Jim Cameron: This sees you" is definitely the front-runner for cheesiest line of the night. Looks like the King of the World is tearing up!

Here's SJP in her ugly bag dress to present the Best Costume Design award. No wonder Tom Ford's eyes are half-closed.

The "horror" clip of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin sharing a bed is mildly amusing. Would have been better if they woke up spooning and Steve yelled out "Those aren't pillows!" though. Plus it would've tied in nicely with the John Hughes theme.

Why is the horror montage presented by Taylor Lautner and K-Stew -- couldn't they find any real horror actors? Is Jamie Lee Curtis too busy filming yogurt ads?

10:30 pm

Sandra Bullock is looking lovely this evening. A tad thin, though. No wonder she was talking about craving burgers and fries on the red carpet!

Here's Demi Moore, the Brat Pack member John Hughes was smart enough to never cast in any of his movies. She intros the In Memoriam segment, which features a glaring omission - Farrah Fawcett.

And now for a boring, confusing dance routine that doesn't appear to have a point!

I'm surprised Bradley Cooper is presenting with Gerard Butler, and not Jennifer Aniston. Is she even here tonight?



11:00 pm
Whoa, it's Keanu, here to present 'The Hurt Locker' by his 'Point Break' director Kathryn Bigelow. What's up with the beard?

Looks like the Academy is having peers do individual intros for each Best Actor/ Actress nominee again this year. The choices are pretty random – where has Michelle Pfeiffer been all these years?

Ooh, The Dude wins Best Actor! As he should. He abides, man.

11:30 pm
The show has officially gone into overtime. Come on people, wrap it up!

Hey, it's creepy Peter Sarsgaard intro'ing young 'un Carey Mulligan. And Oprah is in the house, presenting her girl Gabourey Sidibe. The Oscar goes to... Sandy B! I really thought it'd go to Gabby, but what do I know?

Barbra Streisand? Interesting choice to present Best Director. Fitting though, since the prize goes to Kathryn Bigelow, the first woman to win the top prize. Personally, I think James Cameron was robbed. 'The Hurt Locker' was great, but 'Avatar' is EPIC.

Finally, Best Picture! Thank you, Tom Hanks, for keeping it short and sweet. I'm shocked that 'Avatar' is snubbed. Ah, Hollywood politics.

All in all, it was a pretty bland night. Next year the Academy should scale the best picture nods back down to five, and take more of a risk when it comes to choosing the host. I nominate Ricky Gervais, Stephen Colbert or Sasha Baron Cohen. Or, better yet, all three!

What did our American counterparts think? Check out their review.