The pairing of Tracy Morgan with Bruce Willis as buddy cops looking for a stolen baseball card in Cop Out feels like a joke straight out of 30 Rock. It's Morgan's first crack at a major starring role in a movie (and Kevin Smith's first time to direct someone else's script), but it's not the first completely oddball pairing of actors in the buddy cop genre. There are all sorts of partners that no cop should ever be saddled with, far worse than a goofy, slightly crazed Tracy Morgan.
Our picks after the jump ...
Murphy's a cool partner, probably the one guy on the list you'd actually want watching your back, but it doesn't make him any less weird. For all his bad-assery, let's not forget he eats dookie-colored baby food out of a pump and walks like the Frankenstein Monster wearing cement shoes. If the Robocop remake ever comes to pass, I hope they keep Robocop just as clunky and stiff and strictly beholden-to-the-law as he is in the 1987 original. His weird uncoolness makes him cool.
6. Loose Cannons
Who thought it would be a good idea to pair Gene Hackman with Dan Aykroyd in a buddy cop action movie? It's the cinematic equivalent of mixing peanut butter and dishtowels - two things, perfectly fine on their own, that just don't go together. The gimmick here is that Hackman is the tough, no-nonsense cop paired with a schizoid partner who continually freaks out and has multiple personality episodes based on popular TV characters...AND YET HE'S STILL A COP. I guess he really gets the job done between Dirty Harry and Cowardly Lion impersonations. Mental illness is WACKY! You can watch the trailer here.
5. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Stallone's career never quite recovered from his ill-advised action-comedy featuring himself as a hard-nosed detective trying to keep his elderly mother (Estelle Getty) out of his way while he does, y'know, cop stuff. See, it's supposed to be funny because she's old, and old people aren't supposed to know how to do anything in this super-modern world of ours. The only way this movie could've been more weird was if Stallone was partnered with his actual mom/celebrity psychic, Jackie Stallone.
4. Alien Nation
Sam Francisco (Mandy Patinkin), like Robocop, is actually a reliable partner, and it's hard to fault him for being a weird buddy cop -- he's a former slave from an alien world. He can't help that his head looks like a Paas egg, he gets drunk on rotten milk, and he's sexually stimulated by a back rub. Actually, a very strong argument could be made that James Caan is the weirder one of the two.
3. Cop and a Half
A half of what? Half of a cop? Is a kid a half of a person? I'm going to assume the "half" in the title is for the number of stars in all of the reviews for Cop and a Half, added together, and multiplied by 100. Burt Reynolds teams with a child. "He's seen a lot of action! He's seen a lot of TV!" the trailer exclaims. I especially like the part where Burt Reynolds violently breaks a perp's nose while the kid looks on from behind a bush. If you only watch one trailer on this page, let this be the one. They really don't make 'em like this anymore. Thank you for that, Universal.
2. Dead Heat
Both partners are weird -- Roger Mortis (Treat Williams) because he's an unstoppable zombie cop; Doug Bigelow (Joe Piscopo) because he's a meathead himbo who never met a one-liner he didn't like. Thanks to this movie, I've met many one-liners I didn't like, all falling from the lips of Piscopo like so much drool. I actually like Dead Heat, not because of Piscopo, but because UNSTOPPABLE ZOMBIE COP. It's the kind of cheese I like.
1. Theodore Rex
This doesn't even seem real. There will never be a buddy cop pairing stranger than Whoopi Goldberg and a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Wanda Sykes and a Velociraptor? Not even close. Mo'Nique and an Ankylosaur? Now you're getting warmer. When black comediennes and animatronic dinosaurs team up, we don't get cinematic gold. We get Theodore Rex. We get an upset stomach nightmare that actually exists somewhere, on film.