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conan obrienNever mind 'The Hurt Locker' or 'Avatar.' The most sensational drama these days is unfolding daily on the small screen. We're referring, of course, to Late Night Wars starring Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, which has been dominating airwaves, cyberspace and print near you.

The plot's a bit confusing but goes something like this: NBC recently pulled the plug on 'The Jay Leno Show,' which airs weeknights at 10PM. In order to shift Leno back to his original, successful 'Tonight Show' time slot of 11:35, NBC has proposed moving the current 'The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien' to 12:05 (which would push 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon' to 1:05, leaving 'Last Call With Carson Daly' out in the cold.) There's also a lengthy backstory, but suffice to say that it's the most polarizing thing to ever happen to late night television (Get latest scoop on the wars at AOL Television).

As fun as it's been to watch the involved parties snipe and appeal to reason, it would be even more fun if the whole shebang were made into a movie. And who better to cast it than people with overactive imaginations and too much time on their hands, namely us? We guarantee our version would be better than 'The Late Shift.' conan obrienNever mind 'The Hurt Locker' or 'Avatar.' The most sensational drama these days is unfolding daily on the small screen. We're referring, of course, to Late Night Wars starring Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, which has been dominating airwaves, cyberspace and print near you.

The plot's a bit confusing but goes something like this: NBC recently pulled the plug on 'The Jay Leno Show,' which airs weeknights at 10PM. In order to shift Leno back to his original, successful 'Tonight Show' time slot of 11:35, NBC has proposed moving the current 'The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien' to 12:05 (which would push 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon' to 1:05, leaving 'Last Call With Carson Daly' out in the cold.) There's also a lengthy backstory, but suffice to say that it's the most polarizing thing to ever happen to late night television (Get latest scoop on the wars at AOL Television).

As fun as it's been to watch the involved parties snipe and appeal to reason, it would be even more fun if the whole shebang were made into a movie. And who better to cast it than people with overactive imaginations and too much time on their hands, namely us? We guarantee our version would be better than 'The Late Shift.'


conan o'brien, damian lewisDamian Lewis as Conan O'Brien (present)
Obviously the guy portraying O'Brien has to be a natural redhead, and British actor Lewis has the goods. Though he's mainly known for serious roles ('Band of Brothers,' 'Keane') and playing a detective in the TV series 'Life' (which happened to air on NBC), he's slim, angular, does a mean American accent and, well ... that hair.


Conan O'Brien, Eric StoltzEric Stoltz as Conan O'Brien (future)
We think that Stoltz, also gloriously redheaded, would be a good choice for the future, possibly out-of-work Conan, when he lets himself go and becomes a bum, a la 'Anchorman.' We're already envisioning an Oscar-worthy comeback performance.


Jay Leno and Joaquin PhoenixJoaquin Phoenix as Jay Leno
No one looks like Leno except Leno, and there will obviously be some prosthetics involved, so why not Phoenix? Sure, he's a little young and has reportedly quit acting, but the man's chin is not insubstantial. Plus, what better punchline to the crazy gag that was his appearance on Letterman than starring as Dave's competition?


Letterman, SpaceyKevin Spacey as David Letterman
When it comes to bone-dry humor and mocking irreverence, Spacey's your man. We think he'd do a bang-up job of portraying the equally droll late-night fixture, plus he needs to play someone lovable after his Larry Hooper character in 'The Men Who Stare at Goats.'


Fallon, MaguireTobey Maguire as Jimmy Fallon
With his laid-back, boyish charm, Maguire is a good choice to play the youngest host in the late-night universe. And he could probably use more work since he's been relieved of his 'Spider-man' duties.


Stewart, SegelJason Segel as Jon Stewart
Segel can obviously be funny, smart, self-deprecating and edgy ('Forgetting Sarah Marshall,' 'I Love You, Man'). And like Stewart he is possessed of a certain hangdog cuteness. Only drawback: he's 6'4'' -- but he'd be sitting behind a desk, right?


Ferguson, ByrneGabriel Byrne as Craig Ferguson
Yes, Byrne is Irish and Ferguson's a Scot, but the accents aren't so terribly different to American ears. Plus Byrne has a similar twinkle in his eye and he's probably itching to do something comedic after the gravity of 'In Treatment.'


Daly, FraserBrendan Fraser as Carson Daly
Fraser would have to lose some weight to portray Daly, who himself shed a bunch of pounds a few years ago, but when it comes to playing your good-lookin', all-American everyman (read: not so edgy), Fraser's got it down.


Andy RichterAndy Richter as Himself
Really, there's nobody remotely like Conan's longtime compadre, so we're gonna let Andy be Andy. And after partaking in stuff like 'Frank McKlusky, C.I.,' 'My Boss's Daughter' and 'New York Minute,' he could really use a good movie role.