The Golden Globes have made some dubious choices -- like naming Pia Zadora, the relatively unknown young girlfriend of a billionaire campaigner, "Best New Star of the Year." The Academy Awards have made some head-scratching moves of their own, like awarding films like 'Crash' and 'Shakespeare in Love' Best Picture.

An Oscar is the preeminent award for actors and filmmakers, Hollywood's equivalent of the Super Bowl Ring. The Globes ... serve a lot of alcohol, making for potentially must-see entertainment.

Which awards show reigns supreme? To decide, Moviefone senior editor Kevin Polowy and managing editor Mike Hess staged a bloody fight to the finish. Or a casual AIM debate. It's one or the other. The Golden Globes have made some dubious choices -- like naming Pia Zadora, the relatively unknown young girlfriend of a billionaire campaigner, "Best New Star of the Year." The Academy Awards have made some head-scratching moves of their own, like awarding films like 'Crash' and 'Shakespeare in Love' Best Picture.

An Oscar is the preeminent award for actors and filmmakers, Hollywood's equivalent of the Super Bowl Ring. The Globes ... serve a lot of alcohol, making for potentially must-see entertainment.

Which awards show reigns supreme? To decide, Moviefone senior editor Kevin Polowy and managing editor Mike Hess staged a bloody fight to the finish. Or a casual AIM debate. It's one or the other.


Mike Hess: So, the question here is what's better: The Golden Globes or The Oscars?
Kevin Polowy: And the clear answer is The Oscars
Kevin Polowy: But let's go through the motions of this debate anyway
Kevin Polowy: (I feel like I'm back in 10th grade. Only hopefully this will be more fun than debating the effectiveness of the Electoral College)
Mike Hess: The Oscars are great -- if you're looking for a boring, stodgy show with canned responses and guests who aren't willing to let loose
Kevin Polowy: Or awards that actually hold any weight.
Kevin Polowy: I have two words for you, Mike:
Kevin Polowy: Pia Zadora
Mike Hess: And I'll counter with one word: 'Crash'
Kevin Polowy: Touche
Mike Hess: And perhaps two more: Marisa Tomei

Kevin Polowy: Come on, My Cousin Vinny was a revelation
Kevin Polowy: The Oscars have screwed up a few times, I'll admit, but they're still far more on-point than the Globes
Mike Hess: Right, but because the Globes are kind of the drunken stepcousin Oscars, they're allowed to screw up.

Kevin Polowy: Do you know how many active members there are in the Hollywood Foreign Press Assocation, the organization that votes on the Globes?
Kevin Polowy: 81
Kevin Polowy: 81!!!
Kevin Polowy: There were more people on my subway train this AM.

Mike Hess: Quantity doesn't always equal quality, my friend. How many people vote on the Oscars, and Martin Scorsese just won his first Oscar a few years ago?

Kevin Polowy: At least there are folks of repute voting on the Oscars. The majority of HFPA members aren't even film critics or industry professionals... they're celebrity journalists.
Kevin Polowy: I'm sure Lindsay Lohan is stiff miffed she wasn't nominated for I Know Who Killed Me.
Mike Hess: Leave Lindsay out of this!

Mike Hess: Can we at least acknowledge that what the Oscars may have in cred, the Globes make up for when it comes to guts?

Kevin Polowy: Are you referring to Pia Zadora?
Mike Hess: 'Brokeback Mountain' over 'Crash' was pretty bold
Kevin Polowy: Agree -- though I wouldn't say bold. I'd say right.
Mike Hess: Bold, right... both.

Kevin Polowy: And yes, the Globes got it right where Oscar has failed big-time over the past decade or so -- Brokeback over Crash, and Saving Private Ryan over Shakespeare in Love
Kevin Polowy: But they also named the following films Best Film of the Year: Atonement, Babel, The Hours...

Kevin Polowy: What, you ask, do these films all have in common?
Mike Hess: Do tell

Kevin Polowy: They all have mega-stars: Keira Knightley, Brad Pitt, Nicole Kidman. And if there's anything the Globes are known for it's, excuse my English, being star f***ers
Kevin Polowy: They'll nominate Julia Roberts for ANYTHING (this year: Duplicity)

Mike Hess: They have to call in favors like that via BS nominations in order to keep up... which leads me to the real reason the Globes are simply better -- unlimited access to booze for all of its megastar guests
Mike Hess: Sure, the Oscars might mean more on a resume or obituary, but you CANNOT say that the Globes aren't a better show to watch year in and year out thanks to drunken speeches

Kevin Polowy: Right, and that's always been the biggest reason to watch. Who's not intrigued by the promise of drunk celebrities?
Kevin Polowy: (Love you, Mariah)

Mike Hess: If only Mel Gibson could get nominated ... now that would be compelling TV

Kevin Polowy: How do you know they're not as equally as drunk at the Oscars? Who doesn't love a pre-party?

Mike Hess: Because the Oscars have that snooty air about them where everyone tries to be all dignified and proper

Kevin Polowy: You think Jack Palance was sober when he did those one-arm pushups?

Kevin Polowy: Or Adrien Brody when he sexually assaulted, I mean, passionately kissed, Halle Berry?

Kevin Polowy: Or Jack Nicholson ever.
Mike Hess: Jack Nicholson is drunk even when he's asleep
Mike Hess: And the Brody/Berry thing was an overhyped attempt to be MTV
Kevin Polowy: I always figured Brody realized it was his only chance in life to make out with Halle Berry. Too bad she wasn't consenting.
Mike Hess: For sure... Also, going back to the whole "guts" argument

Mike Hess: The Globes are the only ones with the stones (and smarts) to let Ricky Gervais host

Mike Hess: Where the Oscars have to go mainstream and accessible, the Globes can go for real cred. Not to say that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin aren't brilliant, but Ricky's on a comedic level of his own.

Kevin Polowy: Yeah I like the Gervais pick. And I'll give you this, I appreciate the fact that the Globes regularly honor comedy (the Oscars are trying to catch up, see RDJ's nomination last year for Tropic Thunder)
Kevin Polowy: But why in the world do the Globes group "Best Musical or Comedy"? Does anyone else realize how asininely apples-and-oranges that is?
Kevin Polowy: That's like a category for Best Documentary or Porn.
Kevin Polowy: Actually, that makes sense, bad example.
Kevin Polowy: Best Horror Movie or Animated Children's Film.
Kevin Polowy: (Coraline would clean up there.)

Mike Hess: Agreed that the category doesn't make much sense, but isn't it better to honor those films -- no matter how poorly they're lumped together -- than to ignore them completely?
Kevin Polowy: Yeah but the musicals always win.
Mike Hess: 'Borat' an Oscar nom? Never!
Kevin Polowy: If Nine beats The Hangover this Sunday, and it very well could (with a cast including Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz AND Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas?!) there will be riots on the streets of suburban America.

Kevin Polowy: So yes, the Globes are fun to watch, but isn't it a little bit troubling that at the same time, they're kind of a joke?
Mike Hess: They're not a joke... they're just more light-hearted than the Oscars. Come on, nobody likes a snob.
Kevin Polowy: A Globe award is about as relevant and meaningful as a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Do you know Wal-Mart could buy a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame if it wanted?
Mike Hess: David Spade has no Golden Globes, and he has a Star... so don't go there

Kevin Polowy: Thank you for driving home that point for me.

Mike Hess: That the Globes are far more selective than the Walk of Fame? My pleasure.

Kevin Polowy: Here's a funny story -- remember when Sharon Stone bought watches for all 80-plus members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, shortly before her nomination for The Muse was announced?

Kevin Polowy: That, in a nutshell, is the Golden Globes, ladies and gentlemen.

Mike Hess: Dude, it's Hollywood! If all they got was a watch (wink wink), that's a bargain for Stone.

Mike Hess: Behind-the-scenes bribery and back-scratching are more prevalent in Hollywood than divas and cocaine
Kevin Polowy: Was that a sexual joke?
Mike Hess: It was whatever you want it to be... perv

Kevin Polowy: Right but no more prevalent than when it comes to the Golden Globes. Call me a snob, but there's something just so wrong about the fact that these 81 celebrity journalists are flown around the world by movie studios in hopes that they'll honor their films at this "prestigious" awards show.

Kevin Polowy: And given watches from Sharon Stone.

Mike Hess: I just checked the time on my Tag Heuer Sharon Stone edition watch, and we need to wrap this up.

Kevin Polowy: Agreed. I'm tired and need to get back to reading the latest dissertations on Snob.com.
Mike Hess: So the consensus we've reached is: You're either a Golden Globes person (see: Fun, happy, good-natured and patriotic) or an Oscars person (see: Crabby, snooty, generally depressed and hate freedom)
Kevin Polowy: Well, we forgot one very serious point, speaking of freedom: Watching the Hollywood Foreign Press Association-decided Golden Globes is totally Anti-American.