So, the Golden Globes, the first of billions of entertainment awards shows taking place in 2010, air this Sunday night. In Los Angeles, this ceremony is more important than the most recent presidential inauguration. I just received an email from a company offering me a fake tan via a home mobile service if I am attending the Golden Globes this weekend and need to look golden. Um, no thank you. I live in Los Angeles. I could step outside my door and get a tan from...the sun.

What boggles my mind about the Golden Globes is that 'Nine' earned five nominations. I am not sure how this happened. Were there not enough good films released over the past year? Does a star-studded cast matter more than the film itself? Is there something shady going on? Payola?

So, the Golden Globes, the first of billions of entertainment awards shows taking place in 2010, air this Sunday night. In Los Angeles, this ceremony is more important than the most recent presidential inauguration. I just received an email from a company offering me a fake tan via a home mobile service if I am attending the Golden Globes this weekend and need to look golden. Um, no thank you. I live in Los Angeles. I could step outside my door and get a tan from...the sun.

What boggles my mind about the Golden Globes is that 'Nine' earned five nominations. I am not sure how this happened. Were there not enough good films released over the past year? Does a star-studded cast matter more than the film itself? Is there something shady going on? Payola?

Let me tell you, when I went to see 'Nine', I was completely biased towards loving the film. I love musicals. I love dancing. I grew up loving 'A Chorus Line', 'Grease', 'All That Jazz', 'Flashdance' and 'Fame'. I even loved the dancing turtles in Turtles candy commercials. When I saw 'Nine', however, I was confused as to why they ever made this film. Perhaps the Tony-award-winning live musical 'Nine', based upon Fellini's semi-autobiographical '8 1/2', was good, but it doesn't seem to work as a film.

I don't remember any of the songs in 'Nine'. Not a single melody. Pizza Pizza's jingle is catchier than anything I heard in this film. And, I didn't find any of the dance numbers to be particularly compelling. In fact, I think the old Ritz commercial with the woman wearing a top hat dancing on a chair was far sexier than anything I saw in 'Nine'.

Basically, the story is about a chain-smoking, neurotic, narcissistic and highly successful film director/writer, Guido Contini (played by Daniel Day-Lewis) who suffers from serious mother issues and writer's block connected to a mid-life crisis. Not only can't the poor thing write, but he is also surrounded by beautiful women who love him, including his wife, Luisa (played by Marion Cotillard) and his wacky mistress Carla (played by Penelope Cruz). Contini tries to be faithful to his wife, but it's hard. And, when I say 'it', you can take a wild guess as to what, exactly, is hard.

Oh, how the women adore Contini. They overdose over him. They yell. They scream. They storm out. And, it's not only women. Everyone adores Contini. Journalists behave like sycophants. His producer babies him. He's stopped wherever he goes and told how amazing he is. He even shares a hot tub with a cardinal who loves his films, though the cardinal does admonish Contini for their vulgarity. At least Contini's costume designer Lilli (played by Judi Dench) does whatever she can to keep his massive ego in check. And, believe me, that is a tough job.

'Nine' Trailer

I've always loved Daniel Day-Lewis. I believe I've seen and loved almost every film he's ever made but, this time, I think good ol' normally-reliable Daniel finally managed to make it into caricature territory, something upon which he has bordered, but never quite crossed in the past. And, yet, he has earned a Golden Globe nomination. Penelope Cruz always plays the needy crazy chick well and she does here, too. And, for that, she has also earned a Golden Globe nomination. Kate Hudson, who is normally charming, looks like she is just happy to be in a gorgeous, sexy 60s-inspired sparkly go-go girl costume, but she forgot that she had to actually act as well. Nicole Kidman did pretty well, revealing a tenderness to the movie star character she played which was both believable and very human.

Marion Cotillard, who stole my heart as Edith Piaf in 'La Vie En Rose', was the absolute heart and soul of the film. She displayed a steely strength combined with an aching vulnerability which was the only reason I did not walk out during the film to try to get my money back. Her Golden Globe nomination is well deserved. Sophia Loren plays Contini's mother, but she was given an empty role and is wasted in the film.

For the first twenty minutes, I was so bored I was having a text message conversation with a friend. As the film developed, I was a little more invested in the story, but not terribly. There was a constant disparity between the depth that the film seemed to want to have versus the level of depth that it actually had. There was always something missing. I didn't develop the empathy for Contini which I was supposed to develop. All I kept thinking during Contini's self-obsessed breakdown was, "Sorry, Contini. Karma's a b--ch."

It will be interesting to see how 'Nine''s Golden Globe nominations pan out. While I have my fingers crossed for Marion Cotillard, my eyes will cross if the film picks up any other wins.