2009 has been a great year for movies -- including very, very sucky ones. This is my personal list of least favorite films that I saw theatrically in 2009, brought to you in the Japanese form of poetry known as the haiku.

10. All About Steve

Crossword puzzle nut
Please stop talking so damn much
Run, Bradley Cooper

9. Halloween II

Pretty white pony
Michael looks like Rob Zombie
It was all a dream



8. Old Dogs

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb done

7. The Stepfather

I would also try
To stalk and kill Penn Badgely
If I was his dad

6. Gamer

Waffles dipped by hand
Dance sequence, basketball game
Boobies and killin'

5. Dragonball Evolution

Woe, Toriyama
They took your greatest comic
And made it boring

4. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

When Klein says, "Nash out"
When Kristin Kreuk fakes lesbo
I can only weep

3. Rampage

Uwe Boll's best film
An angry white boy's plan to
Kill the barista

2. Miss March

Lord, take me right now
So that I can never hear
Whitest Kids talk sex

1. After Last Season

Cardboard everything
What the hell is going on
Computer graphics
CATEGORIES Lists, Cinematical