It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Jane Austen book in possession of zombies must be in want of a cinematic adaptation. After months whispering about big names and studios, Seth Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies finally has its A-List attached. Variety reports that Natalie Portman has signed on produce and star in the big-screen adaptation of Zombies. She'll be joined behind the scenes with Richard Kelly and his Darko Films shingle, and Lionsgate will distribute.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
is the classic Austen romance with a few extra pages that reveal the "hidden" story of England's zombie invasion. Elizabeth Bennet is reimagined as a zombie huntress of great skill, renown, and Shaolin training. The bloodthirstiest of the Bennet sisters, she catches Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy's eye, despite that he is proud and favors the Japanese school of martial arts. I reviewed the book back in February and thought it might be more amusing on the big screen than on the page. I hope that holds true. I've since cooled on the concept, mostly because it's such a forced trend. The publishers hire a writer, hand them a work of classic literature, and tell them to put monsters in it. Even Zombies was created this way, which explains its quick-and-dirty zombie additions.

Portman's involvement makes it promising, if only because of how much she resembles Keira Knightley. With Portman as Elizabeth Bennet, it'll actually play out like a horror remake of Joe Wright's Pride and Prejudice. That's exactly what I wanted. So maybe this will be as delightful as a brisk walk to Netherfield, and the wet shirt of Colin Firth.