I've always had an unreasonable aversion to little children. I know, I was once one myself, all screaming and shouting and laughing and otherwise being adorably obnoxious and obnoxiously adorable. But now, I get tense just sitting next to one at a restaurant, and especially in a movie theater, like they're time bombs of noise waiting to go off. (Where's Jeremy Renner when you need him?)

With that being said, I'm bothered by the prospect of a documentary called Babies regardless, because... well, just look at the trailer after the jump (courtesy of Yahoo.) Could there be any topic less demanding for a doc than to watch four conveniently multi-cultural babies spend their first year out of the womb? And the way that tagline on the official website seems to relish the fact: "Everybody loves Babies." Really?

There's nothing dramatic about that. No, I'm not saying every movie has to have conflict in it and be super-serious or topical, but this just looks like an excuse for people to pay ten dollars to coo audibly in public, alongside anyone else willing to do the same. What's next, Kittens? How about if I jingle my keys in front of you for ninety minutes or so?

Oh, what's the use... Babies opens April 16, 2010.