Few celebrities represent the outrageousness of celebrity journalism like 'Twilight' stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart -- and by association, their co-star (third wheel?!) Taylor Lautner. And if you believe everything you've read about these -- well, you must wonder how they've managed to survive various "other" men/women, a failed engagement, and a two pregnancies (one for her, and yes, one for him). Not to mention Pattinson's horrendous body odor.

Individually the actual reported stories below tend to be either harmlessly amusing or laughably absurd, but sliced together, one after the next? Pure comic gold.

And to think ... Pattinson and Stewart have never even confirmed their relationship. Few celebrities represent the outrageousness of celebrity journalism like 'Twilight' stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart -- and by association, their co-star (third wheel?!) Taylor Lautner. And if you believe everything you've read about these -- well, you must wonder how they've managed to survive various "other" men/women, a failed engagement, and a two pregnancies (one for her, and yes, one for him).

Individually the actual reported stories below tend to be either harmlessly amusing or laughably absurd, but sliced together, one after the next? Pure comic gold.

And to think ... Pattinson and Stewart have never even confirmed their relationship.

Jan. 6 -- Robert Pattinson's "backup plan" is to launch a music career.

Jan. 16 -- 'Twilight' producers got upset that Robert Pattinson cut his hair.

Jan. 21 -- Robert Pattinson is reveling in his newfound fame by drinking up and hitting on ladies in London pubs.

Jan. 26 -- Robert Pattinson believes in love at first sight; He often falls head over heels for girls he meets on the street.

Feb. 9 -- Robert Pattinson once took a female stalker out to dinner.

Feb. 17 -- Robert Pattinson finds screaming fans "bizarre" and is convinced that some people use his fame as an excuse to act like maniacs

Feb. 20 -- Robert Pattinson still goes through his own fan mail, even though he fears receiving death threats.

Feb. 24 -- Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are friends, not lovers; Stewart says she's dating 20-year-old actor Michael Angarano.

Feb. 27 -- Hugh Jackman and Robert Pattinson teamed up for a karaoke duet.

March 4 -- Taylor Lautner has been banned from dating until he's 28, by order of his father.

March 13 -- Robert Pattinson has been getting very cozy with Megan Fox.

March 25 -- Robert Pattinson is driving the cast and crew of 'New Moon' crazy with his "awful" stench because he hates showering.

March 27 -- Robert Pattinson has hired Canadian Mounties to protect him from his female fans while filming 'New Moon.'

April 9 -- Robert Pattinson once went to great lengths to land the role of a transsexual prostitute.

April 21 – Robert Pattinson reveals he got expelled from his school at age 12.

May 4 -- Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez are "just friends," saying just because they hang out doesn't mean they're dating.

May 8 -- Robert Pattinson is infatuated with a Canadian stripper, paying her for lap dances whenever he can.

May 14 -- Kristen Stewart rejected boyfriend Michael Angarano's on-set marriage proposal.

May 21 -- Robert Pattinson has introduced Kristen Stewart to his parents, fueling speculation that the two are dating.

June 5 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart snuck out of the MTV Movie Awards a little early to dine alone.

June 5 -- The producers of 'New Moon' want Robert Pattinson to cut down on his drinking and clubbing, so they told him he needs to hit the gym every night.

June 10 – Robert Pattinson has been secretly seeing Joe Jonas' girlfriend Camilla Belle.

June 11 -- Robert Pattinson has given Kristen Stewart an ultimatum -- dump her boyfriend and get serious or he walks.

June 12 -- Kristen Stewart has dumped boyfriend Michael Angarano. Did the ultimatum Robert Pattinson give her work?

June 16 -- Robert Pattinson has been getting advice from Brad Pitt about how to keep his relationship with Kristen Stewart a secret.

June 17 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been dating for "awhile" but kept it under wraps. He went "crazy" for her when they first met, but their love's been hampered by constant media attention.

June 18 -- Now that "the chase" of landing Kristen Stewart is over, Robert Pattinson is getting bored.

June 22 -- Reports of story that Kristen Stewart was cheating on Robert Pattinson with Russell Brand not true.

June 25 -- Robert Pattinson and Emilie de Ravin have been flirting on the set of their new movie, causing Kristen Stewart to "flip out."

June 26 -- 'Twilight' fans are bombarding Kristen Stewart with hate mail accusing her of cheating on Robert Pattinson.

June 30 -- Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry on the set of the upcoming Runaways biopic.

July 1 -- Taylor Lautner is "desperate" for a girlfriend.

July 1 -- Robert Pattinson went unnoticed at a NYC club while watching the band Jump into the Gospel perform.

July 7 -- Kristen Stewart is pregnant! With Robert Pattinson's baby!

July 8 -- Kristen Stewart is annoyed by reports that she's pregnant with Robert Pattinson's baby.

July 9 -- Robert Pattinson dumped Kristen Stewart for Emilie de Ravin; the two got friendly on the set of their new movie while Stewart was miles away

July 17 -- Robert Pattinson admitted he only auditioned for 'Twilight' because he had a crush on Kristen Stewart.

July 23 -- Kristen Stewart is sick of Robert Pattinson's womanizing ways, so she's demanding that he stop seeing other people ASAP.

July 27 -- Crew on the set 'Remember Me,' think Robert Pattinson is "obnoxious"; he rubs co-workers the wrong way by ignoring fans, expecting special treatment and barking orders "like he's a king."

July 28 -- Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson spend three hours in the back of a limo at Comic-Con; also spotted holed up at the Hard Rock Hotel one night.

July 30 -- Taylor Lautner ruined his budding romance with Selena Gomez by cheating on her with 'Zoey 101' actress Victoria Justice.

July 31 – Kristen Stewart caught drinking beers on the set of 'The Runaways.'

Aug. 3 -- Kristen Dunst has been sending Robert Pattinson flirty text messages.

Aug. 5 -- Robert Pattinson has reveals that he's single after reportedly being dumped by Kristen Stewart.

Aug. 7 -- Even though Robert Pattinson says he's 100% single, he's caught speeding away from "very good friend" Kristen Stewart's house in the morning.

Aug. 13 -- Robert Pattinson is worried Kristen Stewart might fall for newly buff Taylor Lautner.

Aug. 14 -- Kristen Stewart laughs off reports that she's carrying Robert Pattinson's baby, but still gets very emotional on set, occasionally breaking down over the stress of a scene.

Aug. 17 – Back on set together, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner went out partying together before R-Pattz and K-Stew broke away to go to a Kings of Leon concert.

Aug. 18 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are planning to move in together once they finish filming the final installment of the trilogy.

Aug. 28 -- Kriste Stewart has eye on $3 million love nest for she and Robert Pattinson.

Sept. 3 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are engaged!

Sept. 4 -- The cast of the latest 'Twilight' movie is growing increasingly "uncomfortable" with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's constant PDA.

Sept. 9 -- Producers of 'Twilight' have warned Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to stay mum on their relationship for fear confirmation would destroy the franchise.

Sept. 10 -- Robert Pattinson is so into Kristen Stewart that he's alienating himself from friends so he can spend all his free time with her.

Sept. 14 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are desperate for some alone time.

Sept. 15 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are ready to go public with their romance.

Sept. 17 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are planning the "Wedding of the Year."

Sept. 18 -- Poor Michael Angarano is still holding out hope that he and ex-girlfriend Kristen Stewart will reunite

Sept. 29 -- Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are having a tough time adjusting to fame

Oct. 2 -- Kristen Stewart has alienated herself from the 'Twilight' cast and crew

Oct. 5 -- Rob Pattinson may play Prince Harry in upcoming movie

Oct. 13 -- Robert Pattinson says he can't land a date

Oct. 14 – Movie co-stars Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift spotted in "locked in a long embrace" after one of Swift's shows.

Oct. 16 -- Emilie de Ravin has reconciled with her estranged husband after being left "devastated" when Robert Pattinson got back together with Kristen Stewart.

Oct. 21 – Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart sharing an entire floor of suites in Vancouver

Oct. 27 – Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift seen leaving hotel room together.

Oct. 29 – It's over for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

Nov. 3 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spent the night together at Chateau Marmont.

Nov. 4 – Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart calling each "wife" and "husband" on set of 'Eclipse.'

Nov. 4 -- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stay apart to squash romance rumors.

Nov. 9 – Robert Pattinson has pregnancy scare.

Nov. 11 – Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart photgraphed holding hands in London, fist reported sighting of PDA.

Nov. 12 -- Robert Pattinson may quit if he can't handle fame.

Nov. 13 – Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart romance confirmed by 'Twilight' director Catherine Hardwicke.

Nov. 20 -- 'New Moon' opens.