Apparently, John Rambo prefers saving damsels in distress than fighting freakish man-beast hybrids.

Sylvester Stallone recently sent an e-mail to Sly fansite StalloneZone.com announcing a change of direction for the upcoming 'Rambo V.' The original film was set to be modeled off 'Hunter,' the book by James Byron Huggins about a medical experiment
that creates a ultra-violent half-man/half-animal that needs to be taken out. While Huggins' book will still play a role in the movie, Stallone is focusing on a good ol' fashioned border war. Apparently, John Rambo prefers saving damsels in distress than fighting freakish man-beast hybrids.

Sylvester Stallone recently sent an e-mail to Sly fansite StalloneZone.com announcing a change of direction for the upcoming 'Rambo V.' The original film was set to be modeled off 'Hunter,' the book by James Byron Huggins about a medical experiment that creates a ultra-violent half-man/half-animal that needs to be taken out. While Huggins' book will still play a role in the movie, Stallone is focusing on a good ol' fashioned border war. Never one to use two words when one will do, Stallone tersely wrote,

"To all the loyal SZoners out there,

I'm letting you know that Rambo has changed course and the story about hunting the man/beast will be done using another character in the lead. RAMBO himself will be heading over the border to a violent city where many young women have vanished.
There will be blood.

Best,
Sly Stallone"

You had us at "There will be blood."

So we're assuming that the film will take place in Mexico (unless he means Canada, though roughing up some Mounties seems a bit tame for the Vietnam vet.) But Sly is a shrewd one, not actually disclosing the location by name. So we decided to pick the border battles we'd most like to see cinema's ultimate badass enter:

Israel/Palestine: 'Rambo V' opens on an alternate universe where Stallone, taking the place of Bill Clinton, brokers the 1993 handshake between PLO Chairman Yassir Arafat and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin. Cut to '15 Years Later' and, with peace negotiations breaking down, Stallone must rescue a group of Israeli and Palestinian children from an evil warlord intent on destroying both sides.

France/Spain: Trapped deep in The Pyrenees, John Rambo has, for some reason or another, been living in a cave, subsiding on snow and bugs and whiling his days training. Just training. When a vicious mountain border war breaks out, it's up to Rambo to survive both the harsh weather conditions and angry Spaniards and Frenchmen.

Pakistan/Afghanistan: In their attempt to keep their protagonist in the scope of current events, the filmmakers send Rambo to battle the Taliban. Lines like "You American pig" and "Your country thinks it's so great. We will crush you." will be uttered by vaguely Muslim-looking actors.

Ecuador/Columbia: After running out of, or disagreeing with, all previous ideas, producers just say "Screw it, let's do another action movie where the main character battles drug warlords and their goons."

Russia/Latvia: This scenario works if budget problems arise on set, thus forcing the movie to be 90% comprised of training scene outtakes from 'Rocky IV.'


"Shooting" is expected to begin this spring.
CATEGORIES Movies