It's just not a normal Sunday night in Los Angeles unless you attend an awards ceremony. Two nights ago, I went to the 4th annual Hamilton Behind The Camera Awards, a Movieline.com presentation. Being Canadian, whenever I used to hear the word "Hamilton," I would think of steel mills and McMaster University. I have since learned, however, that Hamilton, a member of the Swatch group, is a watch company who have had their timepieces product placed in over 300 films. Surely, when you watched Elvis Presley in 'Blue Hawaii,' you were captivated by his watch, right? Of course you were. It was a Hamilton.

As usual, I dragged my sidekick Brooke along with me as my official photographer. Unfortunately, though Brooke ripped feverishly through her apartment just before we had to leave for the event, she could not find her camera. All she had was her BlackBerry. That would have to do.

When we arrived at the event, we took our place on the red carpet along with the rest of the media. All the photographers had gigantic cameras which dwarfed Brooke's little BlackBerry. Picture a mass of paparazzi (which I like to call a "pap smear") with cameras large enough to house small dogs, and then poor Brooke holding up her little BlackBerry trying to compete. She really had no chance. Good thing I told the publicist for the event that I simply had to have my own photographer there. I had to, though. I couldn't concede that, in reality, I needed to have a drinking buddy with me. It's just not a normal Sunday night in Los Angeles unless you attend an awards ceremony. Two nights ago, I went to the 4th annual Hamilton Behind The Camera Awards, a Movieline.com presentation. Being Canadian, whenever I used to hear the word "Hamilton," I would think of steel mills and McMaster University. I have since learned, however, that Hamilton, a member of the Swatch group, is a watch company who have had their timepieces product placed in over 300 films. Surely, when you watched Elvis Presley in 'Blue Hawaii,' you were captivated by his watch, right? Of course you were. It was a Hamilton.

As usual, I dragged my sidekick Brooke along with me as my official photographer. Unfortunately, though Brooke ripped feverishly through her apartment just before we had to leave for the event, she could not find her camera. All she had was her BlackBerry. That would have to do.

When we arrived at the event, we took our place on the red carpet along with the rest of the media. All the photographers had gigantic cameras which dwarfed Brooke's little BlackBerry. Picture a mass of paparazzi (which I like to call a "pap smear") with cameras large enough to house small dogs, and then poor Brooke holding up her little BlackBerry trying to compete. She really had no chance. Good thing I told the publicist for the event that I simply had to have my own photographer there. I had to, though. I couldn't concede that, in reality, I needed to have a drinking buddy with me.

As we waited for the stars to arrive, Brooke and I chatted with a publicist who had shown up with a bottle of cognac in her purse. Apparently, rapper/actor Ludacris has collaborated with cognac house Birkadel Hartmann for a line of cognacs called Conjure. And, it is clearly purse friendly. The publicist claimed it was good for her skin to do a cognac shot every morning. I think she was lying. But, I am going to add it to my beauty regimen, just in case.


Next, we befriended the Austrian media crew standing next to us. Naturally, I burst into, "The hills are alive with the sound of music..." They didn't understand what I was doing. I explained it to them. I should never have started up with this in the first place. The cameraman got so obsessed with looking up the film on his iPhone that I became von Trapped into a ridiculously long conversation about 'The Sound of Music' and Julie Andrews.

Slowly, the celebrities began to arrive. What made this awards ceremony unique was that there were no losers. Only the winners showed up to claim awards. The winners included 'Inglourious Basterds' producer Lawrence Bender, 'The Hurt Locker' director Kathryn Bigelow, '(500) Days of Summer' screenwriters Scott Neustadler and Michael H. Weber. Actors Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jason Bateman (who skipped the red carpet) and Diane Kruger (who attended with her Canadian beau, actor Joshua Jackson) were among the presenters.

These people work on, promote and talk about their films all the time. I figured it would be better to find out, given the ceremony's roots, if anyone actually owns a Hamilton watch. The answer was shocking. No. Not a single wrist on this red carpet was wrapped in or had ever been swathed in Hamilton glory. (OK, a team of Oscar/Hamilton winning visual effects guys have Hamiltons, but they won them at the Hamilton Awards last year.) Three hundred film placements and no one has or has ever had this watch? Has nobody been paying attention to watches in films?

There were a few celebrities with whom I did want to talk about something other than a Hamilton watch (but, they did reveal that they, too, do not own Hamilton watches). Eli Roth, for instance, who played Sgt. Donny Donowitz in 'Inglourious Basterds' reveled in the post glow of the Quentin Tarantino directed film. "'Inglourious Basterds' was one of the most fun experiences of my life. It was so supremely satisfying to mow down all those Nazis, which is something I dreamed about my entire life. I got the Nazi killing out of my system."

I asked the stars of '(500) Days of Summer,' Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, if they related more to the character of Tom (lovelorn) or Summer (carefree) in the film. "I think we've all been Summer and we've all been Tom," said Deschanel. "I think we all have a little bit of both inside of us," said Gordon-Levitt. I said, "That is very diplomatic, Joe. I think that means that you've probably been more of a Tom." He smiled and said, "Is that what that means?" before he quickly walked away from me, probably from the shame of being labelled a "Tom". There is nothing wrong with being a "Tom." He was sweet.

After our red carpet expositions, we sat down to our table. We especially liked the the ice bucket filled with wine and beer. Brooke and I immediately took a bottle of red wine to split between the two of us. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I hadn't eaten enough during the day due to running around doing Sunday errands, which explains why I found even the most sentimental of acceptance speeches to be hysterically funny.

One speech which did grab my undivided attention, however, was that of Quentin Tarantino's longtime editor, Sally Menke, who received the lifetime achievement award. Apparently, it was in Banff, Alberta where she began her illustrious career with a phone call telling her she'd gotten the job to edit 'Reservoir Dogs'. Imagine if she hadn't been in Canada? Who knows what would have happened? She owes us. Big time.

After the ceremony, which was only an hour long, we attended an after-party catered by Wolfgang Puck. We were treated to steak, pasta, salad, fried zucchini and the best mashed potatoes I have ever eaten. I don't think they were made of potato. It was more like a gigantic portion of butter mixed with white clouds. Delicious. I wanted seconds, but that wouldn't have left room for the sweet desserts, and where there is chocolate, there is Pamela.

After dinner, we floated around the soiree, chatting with various folks and enjoying the mixed fruity drinks (some of which tasted like cotton candy). The final guest we met was the reason Brooke and I decided that it was getting late and that we should head home. A man approached us and said, "Let's all get naked and do irresponsible things with our emotions." I told him he had already done a good job of being totally socially irresponsible and Brooke and I high-tailed it out of the party.

Inside the cab, on the way home, we opened the Hamilton gift bags we were given when we left the after-party. Inside was: 2 soundtrack CDs ('The Twilight Saga: New Moon' and '(500) Days of Summer'), a book on Turner Classic Movies, BCBG Max Azria's Within perfume, Red Leaf water ("Canada's utra-premium bottled water" - never heard of it), a can of Monster energy drink, a Hamilton flash drive, and a phone number to call to order a free pair of Rue de Jeans' newest denims.

Great swag! But, unfortunately, no Hamilton watch.