Aww, yeah! Millenium Films and Lionsgate have debuted the first full trailer for Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables – you know, the movie starring just about EVERY awesome action star of the last few decades in some plot about overthrowing some dictator or another while amassing the biggest body count imaginable . In short: pure awesomeness captured on celluloid. What's that noise, you ask? Why yes, it is the sound of the entire internet experiencing what is known as a collective nerdgasm.
Now hurry up and watch the trailer so you can start integrating "Bring it, Happy Feet!" into your daily lexicon.
VIDEO REMOVED AT REQUEST OF STUDIO
[Update: Sorry, folks. We removed the video at the studio's request, but read on for a detailed description of the awesomeness that the Expendables trailer contains!]
Looks like Stallone is delivering on his promise to pay homage to the beefy action pics of the '80s and '90s. The first step was in hiring every major action star to ever put a hurting on the bad guys. Jason Statham as a knife expert! Jet Li as a martial arts master! Dolph Lundgren as a Swedish Expendable-turned-bad guy! Stallone himself as – what else – the boss! Add Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Randy Couture, Bruce Willis, and even a cameo by the Governator of California, and the testosterone oozes off the computer screen.
Among the delightful scenes we get to preview in the three-minute trailer: A Mexican standoff; Statham throwing knives; massive gun fights; pee jokes; pit stains; Sly with a six-shooter; an airplane attack; a steamy kiss; and finally, that classic slo-mo leap from a fiery explosion. Seriously, people: even Stone Cold gets to pull some WWE-looking moves, and to top it off, some chick gets waterboarded.
The Expendables will muscle into theaters August 20, 2010. Who's marking their calendars?