Yes, we all knew it would come to this (har har). In the darkest recesses of the Internet, people have been writing slash-fiction for years -- fantasies of what fans wished would happen between Sam and Frodo, Willow and Tara, and yes, even Kirk and Spock. A quick search for slash fic will give you more info on the hobby than you probably ever needed or wanted to know.

Of course, the adult industry picked up on this trend, offering up plenty of XXX take-offs of franchises like Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Trek, and the tongue-in-cheek horror-porn take on Re-Animator, cheekily called Re-Penetrator. Local NYC "cinema of transgression" filmmaker Nick Zedd even made a film that took its name from Lord of the Rings, in a play on words that I'm sure you can decipher or Google for your edification. Let's not even discuss the adult parody of Edward Scissorhands.

So now there's not only a sparkly Twilight sex toy, but two Twilight naughty knock-offs. First there was Twilight of Virginity (shot in the home of Nikki Sixx!), and now there's a new one called This Isn't Twilight: The XXX Parody coming your way October 15th, just over a month before Twilight: New Moon is unleashed on audiences.

The real question is, who are these marketed to? Even the grown-ups who enjoy the Twilight franchise say that the fun is because of the way it portrays high school crushes -- yearning, unconsummated, and most certainly virginal, especially in the case of this sex-phobic book series. And Twilight fans, don't spoil the plot for the rest of us if they do get it on. OK?

Someone check these out and report back. I want to know if the term "spider monkey" is used in any context. Thanks!