Nothing can really compare to the craptacular showing of ZYZZYX Road, the film that brought in a whopping $30. That's no typo -- it didn't bring in $30 million, not even $30 thousand. I'm not sure any film could ever compete with that, except for maybe a For Justin & Kelly sequel, but there is a stinker this summer that comes sort of close.

It was set to be her big comeback. Two films, one she was headlining, and one that she wrote, directed, and starred in. The first made the rounds, but the other didn't go much further than a blog post or two. Figure out who I'm writing about yet? Yes, it's Nia Vardalos and her feature I Hate Valentine's Day. Gordon and the Whale dug into the little feature that couldn't, revealing that after spending $5 million and making well over $200 million on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Valentine's Day only brought in eleven thousand dollars in the U.S., from three theaters. Sure, the film hit almost a million with its foreign run, but that doesn't even cover the film's estimated $3 million price tag. Ouch.

Nevertheless, Tom Hanks' Playtone loves her. The TV show might have tanked, as well as her long-awaited follow-up feature (and disappointing showings on the rest of her post-stardom work), but she's in line for two more Playtone productions -- one writing, and one writing and acting. Will they bring more success? It'd be nice, but at this point, it'd also be a shocker. Maybe they should have waited until February 14 to release this puppy. At least then they'd have gotten the coupley audience.
CATEGORIES Movies, Cinematical