Like everyone in the civilized world, I love Robert Downey Jr., and it's because I love him that I fervently hope that this fangbanger rumor hits sunlight, and bursts into flames. Bloody Disgusting reports that Universal is looking to cash in on the blood-sucking frenzy, and reboot Anne Rice's The Vampire Chronicles, and that Downey is in talks to play the famous Lestat de Lioncourt.

Lestat was the hero of most of Rice's vampire novels. Blond, bisexual, and a blend of poetry and snark, his seductive powers led him into all kinds of scrapes. He seduced men and women, ran around with the Devil, swapped bodies with humans, seduced the first vampire (who just happened to be an Egyptian queen), and found time to be a rock star. At thirteen, he was one of the most wonderful literary characters I had ever met and by my 20s I found him pretty annoying. Your mileage may vary. But I was one of the few who actually liked Neil Jordan's Interview with the Vampire, and enjoyed Tom Cruise in the role, and was always disappointed that they didn't go on to make The Vampire Lestat together. I think Cruise could have done good things with that installment.

To bring it back now just feels wrong. It feels like a series that time has just passed by, and so much of Rice has been ripped off by every vampire series after that it's not going to really offer anything new. But if they go through with it (and with Twilight and True Blood winding everyone up, I have no doubt they will), they have to look elsewhere for Lestat, don't you think? Downey is wrong for the role, far more ill-suited to the Frenchman's fangs than Cruise ever was. Hopefully, it won't come to pass, and a new Chronicles will only happen in a universe where Alexander Skarsgard can take the role because he isn't on True Blood.