Let's see what's out on disc today ... hmm ... Obsessed (the horror of Beyonce acting), Big Trouble in Little China (great, great movie, supernatural stuff, but not really horror), Race to Witch Mountain (they're aliens, not witches, right?), Wolfhound ("a serious Slavic swords and sorcery epic that's heavy on the slashing blades and light on the fantasy," as I wrote at Twitch when it played at Fantastic Fest a couple of years ago) ... ah, here we go ...
The Machine Girl
Essential viewing for any splatter fanatic, especially one with a keen appreciation for the Japanese art of total freakin' excess. The Machine Girl spits out more body parts and bodily fluids than are actually contained in most any country on Earth, to the point where you'll be laughing your a** off, just because it's all so ridiculous. The Machine Girl starts where most other "extreme" movies end. Did I mention that the titular character (Minase Yashiro) loses her arm, only to have it replaced with a high-powered machine gun? Did I mention the bra than drills death? All bow down to director Noboru Iguchi for catering so well to American fantasies of very violent Japanese schoolgirls.
American remake of the very good 1978 Australian flick. Jim Cavaziel and Claudia Karvan star as a bickering married couple who head out to the wilderness to a weekend vacation, only to find that animals don't take no guff when you're disrespectful to the environment. Horror Squad's Peter S. Hall got an early look and rather liked it: "It's a likeable adult take on the nature-gone-amuck subgenre."
Hot Blood Sundae
"Ice cream checks in ... but it doesn't check out!" Too bad they didn't use my preferred tag line -- instead of "Where the ice cream is to die for" -- yet I doubt that would have made this horror / comedy any more appealing. For the very adventurous, here's a taste: "This sleepy town's ice scream store has started serving a little more than just your typical flavors, dishing out gobs of Virgin Vanilla and Busty Buttercrunch, but wait - what's that? Eeeeek! There's an eyeball staring up from the Cherry Vanilla!" Could be tolerable if you lace your ice cream with an adult beverage of your choice.
Is there any horror sub-genre that attracts more low-budget filmmakers than zombies? Roommates head out to a bar only to discover to their dismay nothing more than a "mysterious machete-wielding stranger ... and a horde of the walking dead!" If you need a zombie fix, dig right in. And if your budget is particularly expansive this week, note that a "limited edition pre-quel comic book" is included.