Conan the Barbarian has a director, and it isn't Brett Ratner. That's the story according to CHUD, who reports that horror director Marcus Nispel has signed on the dotted line, and will direct the remake / reimagining for Lionsgate.

Remakes are familiar territory for Nispel, who has helmed our latest versions of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th. I haven't seen either (though I am sure Scott Weinberg will rectify that soon), but I know they were heavy on the gore and action. With Outlander writers Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain giving the script a rewrite last year, I think you can picture just what Nispel and Lionsgate are aiming for ... lots of pulpy, bloody, R-rated action. While I'll hold out some hope for character development, I'll take comfort in the fact that the Barbarian's sword will meet flesh and bone with a suitable level of blood and crunch.

Now we'll have to see who lands the role (Devin Faraci is hearing that they'll go with an unknown), and whether Ratner left his fingerprints all over the project, as has been rumored every time he was on again, off again with it. But hey, it looks like Conan will make it to the theater before Red Sonja and Thulsa Doom do, which is how it should be.