Peter BergOf all the stupid ideas in all the world, why do they have to raid my precious memories of childhood board games? Who is holding their breath waiting to see Ridley Scott's Monopoly, or Michael Bay's Ouija Board? How about the latest marketing move, an adaptation of Battleship? Writers have been signed, and Peter Berg is in talks to direct a film version of the game, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The idea, apparently, is "to make an epic naval action adventure." Of course, with tens of millions of dollars at stake in development, production, and marketing costs, no one wants to just make an original naval action adventure. They want a movie with a built-in tag line -- "You sunk my battleship!" -- and consumer familiarity so that everyone will know what the movie is about. The last epic naval adventure was Peter Weir's Master and Commander, but I guess it's cheaper to license board games than novels.

Peter Berg has proven with Hancock and The Kingdom that he can handle action scenes, but he's also got (possibly) Hercules: The Thracian Wars and Dune on his plate of potential projects, so who knows when he could fit this one in. First they have to get a workable script. Here's my idea: robots! Yeah, robots can pilot the ships, and humans can control the ships from thousands of miles away, and the plot involves the conquest of ocean territories to secure the bad guy's conquest of the free world. (Obviously, this is why I'm not a highly-paid screenwriter.) What are your ideas for making an epic out of a board game?