Every website, magazine, and newspaper in the known universe has done a Summer Movie Season preview. And so here's ours. Direct, basic, packed with nerdy goodness. Enjoy.
May 1 -- Animated adventure Battle for Terra, chick-flick counter-programming Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and Fox's latest superhero offering: X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
8 -- An urban take on Pineapple Express called Next Day Air -- and the long-awaited return of Star Trek.
15 -- Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code prequel Angels & Demons. Already it's an improvement over the first film. Also keep an eye out for Adrien Brody and Rachel Weisz in The Brothers Bloom and / or Jennifer Aniston and Steve Zahn in Management, should you be so inclined..
22 -- Broad farce in Dance Flick, family-friendly adventure in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, and a lot of robot carnge in Terminator: Salvation.
29 -- Raimi returns to horror with Drag Me to Hell, and Pixar swings for another home run with Up.
June 5 -- Guy-friendly raunch comedy The Hangover, more family adventure in Land of the Lost, and ... ugh, fine, I'll say it: the return of Nia Vardalos in My Life in Ruins.
12 -- Eddie Murphy climbs into his daughter's dreams in Imagine That, while John Travolta hassles Denzel Washington in the remake of The Taking of Pelham 123. (Looking for a smaller option? Try Moon.)
19 -- Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds get rom-commed in The Proposal; Jack Black and Michael Cera go prehistoric in Harold Ramis' Year One.
24/26 -- What has the stones to open near Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? Alec Baldwin and Cameron Diaz, of course, in the rare summertime drama piece My Sister's Keeper. (Or go find The Hurt Locker this weekend.)
July, August and much more posted after the jump ...
July 1 -- The kids get Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs and the grown-ups get Christian Bale and Johnny Depp in Michael Mann's Public Enemies. Seems fair.
10 -- Wow, two comedies in one day! Sacha Baron Cohen looks to shock a few more squares with Bruno, while Chris Columbus delivers his adaptation of the fine, funny novel I Love You, Beth Cooper.
15 -- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Period.
24 -- The summer's busiest weekend presents G-Force, which is about guinea pigs; Orphan, which is about a killer kid; The Ugly Truth, which stars the equally lovely Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler; and All Good Things, which is a Weinsteins thriller, so expect a release date switch any day now.
31 -- Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler make with the jokes in Judd Apatow's Funny People, and They Came from Upstairs, which is about a bunch of kids who have to save the world from alien invaders. Also, a fantastic documentary called The Cove.
August 7 -- Someone finally managed to make a G.I. Joe movie, and here it comes. We also get Robert Rodriguez's family adventure Shorts, Kristen Bell in a rom-com called When in Rome, and Meryl Streep and Amy Adams in Julie & Julia. Sounds like a good weekend for the casinos.
14 -- Teens put together a rock gig in Bandslam; aliens do ... something in Sony's hush-hush District 9; romantics get to meet The Time Traveler's Wife, a whole bunch of funny people sell used cars in The Goods; and Milla Jovovich and Steve Zahn make A Perfect Getaway in David Twohy's new thriller.
21 -- Quentin Tarantino claims his nazi scalps in the war flick Inglourious Basterds; Alexis Bledel goes Post Grad; and Chevy Chase must deal with a Goose on the Loose! Yes, seriously.
28 -- Today we get Zombie's Halloween 2, plus Final Destination 4: Death Trip 3-D, and that's cool because the horror fans have been patient. Also today: The Boat That Rocked, a fact-based comedy about trouble-making disc jockeys.
Our pals over at Moviefone have put together all sorts of amusing summertime packages. There's the 35 Reasons We're Psyched for Summer article, a Pre-season Poll for you to click at, and a piece on the 25 Biggest Summer Openings, just to keep things in perspective when Wolverine doesn't do Iron Man money.
But if you act right now you'll also get this handy-dandy summer flick calendar, complete with May, June, July, and the limited edition special edition of August! If that's too chronological for your needs, then check out the Summer Cinema genre-style! Action mayhem, chick flicks, family fare, funny stuff, scary stories and indie sleepers. Why is there no drama category? Because drama hibernates in summer like Yogi Bear hibernates in winter.
And please, as you're enjoying the lovely spectacles of the summertime cinematic season, we ask you to view reposnsibly. No fighting, no guns, no talking, no texting, no sex. Unless the theater's totally empty.