"Can only be described as epic in its awfulness" ... "I can't remember the last time I watched an actor fail to walk into a room convincingly" ... "So wooden that he makes Keanu Reeves seem like Don Knotts" ... "This shit is Ricotta, folks."
As several other reviews noted/hoped, his performance is one particularly ripe for a highlight reel on YouTube someday, and sure enough, an impatient individual of like mind cut one together (we put it after the jump). Running eleven minutes, I'm willing to bet it's actually every scene of his in the thing, and by the time he's yelling "NASH OUT!" into the nearest walkie-talkie, you'll be glad someone took the time.
Thanks to Pajiba for keeping an eye out, and remember: I call dibs on this costume for next Halloween. GOSS OUT!