It was last night's Meryl Streep chit-chat that got me to thinking; Hell, 15 nominations is impressive enough, and she's even won the dang Oscar twice! For Kramer vs. Kramer and Sophie's Choice. But while in the lovely land of Hollywood that's a track record to be amazingly proud of, the simple truth is that, in the land of baseball, Meryl Streep would be batting a lusty .133. I've seen American League pitchers who can bat .133!

And that silly thought led to the next logically silly one: If Meryl Streep is batting .133, who ELSE is batting poorly? And conversely ... who's leading the league? Now, I've got to limit eligibility to those who've been nominated at least three times, because otherwise we'd have Anna Paquin as Mickey Mantle. And I'm limiting this project to actors only, because that way one can squeeze another post or two out of this lame concept if people actually like it.

1.000* -- Hilary Swank (2 for 2); Kevin Spacey (2 for 2)
.500 -- Daniel Day-Lewis (2 for 4)
.400 -- Sean Penn (2 for 5); Tom Hanks (2 for 5); Denzel Washington (2 for 5);
.333 -- Maggie Smith (2 for 6); Tommy Lee Jones (1 for 3); Helen Mirren (1 for 3); Philip Seymour Hoffman (1 for 3); Marisa Tomei (1 for 3); Alan Arkin (1 for 3); Renee Zellweger (1 for 3); Kathy Bates (1 for 3); Geoffrey Rush (1 for 3); Julia Roberts (1 for 3); Russell Crowe (1 for 3)
.285 -- Michael Caine (2 for 7)
.250 -- Jack Nicholson (3 for 12); Julie Christie (1 for 4); Cate Blanchett (1 for 4); William Hurt (1 for 4); Frances McDormand (1 for 4); Morgan Freeman (1 for 4); Ben Kingsley (1 for 4); Diane Keaton (1 for 4); Holly Hunter (1 for 4); Jon Voight (1 for 4);

More after the jump


.166 -- Judi Dench (1 for 6); Kate Winslet (1 for 6); Sissy Spacek (1 for 6); Ellen Burstyn (1 for 6);
.133 -- Meryl Streep (2 for 15)
.100 -- Paul Newman (1 for 10 on nominations, but he got TWO honorary Oscars!)

Still waiting for that first hit (minimum three nominations, don't forget): Albert Finney (0 for 5); Jeff Bridges (0 for 4); Julianne Moore (0 for 4); Ed Harris (0 for 4); Tom Cruise (0 for 3); Johnny Depp (0 for 3); Leonadro DiCaprio (o for 3); Laura Linney (0 for 3); Annette Bening (0 for 3); Joan Allen (0 for 3); and good ol' Peter O'Toole who was 0 for 8 in wins, but got a lifetime achievement Oscar in 2003.

*I broke my "minimum of three nominations" rule just once, simply because 2 wins from 2 nominations is really damn impressive.

Also, this was fun. I'll do actors again next time, 1980-2000.