Cinematical is live-blogging the Academy Awards, and first up is Eric D. Snider. Follow along down below, and don't forget to keep refreshing this page. Head over to Moviefone for additional Oscar coverage.
Click here for a full list of Academy Award winners updated in real time
FIRST HOUR IS DONE - CONTINUE TO HOUR TWO
9:30 p.m.: And that it's for me, folks. I hand you over to my good friend Scott Weinberg for Hour 2 of the Academy Awards marathon. Stay safe, and remember, no wagering.
9:28 p.m.: Remember how some movies in 2008 had romance in them? The Academy does!
9:25 p.m.: Well, why wouldn't the guy from Twilight and the girl from Mammia Mia! be at the Oscars? Next we'll see presenters from Meet the Spartans and Witless Protection.
9:24 p.m.: Ben Button wins for Makeup, and the designer has a contest with himself to see how many random names he can rattle off in 30 seconds. Then he says, "New Orleans." Well said!
9:21 p.m.: This is a very dapper British gentleman whose Costume Design won for The Duchess. It's nice to see someone class up the joint after Hugh Jorifice's vulgarity. (Jay-kay, Hugh! We love you!)
9:19 p.m.: That orchestra might be tucked away in the back of the theater, but they will still cut you off, boys!
9:18 p.m.: Benjamin Button wins for Art Direction -- deservedly, as the insides of all those houses really did look like the insides of houses.
9:12 p.m.: This is the first time I've watched the Oscars in high-definition. You can see every crag and gully in Mickey Rourke's face.
9:09 p.m.: Hey, what gives?! Le Maison en Petit Cubes wins Best Animated Short, but that guy is NOT French! Nice shout-out to Mr. Roboto, though.
9:07 p.m.: No surprise here -- Best Animated Feature goes to WALL-E. There is momentary controversy here at headquarters over whether the director or producer accepts this award, but eventually everyone takes my word for it that it's the director.
9:05 p.m.: Nice of them to show a montage of all of last year's animated films, including the ones too crappy to be nominated. "Sucks to be you, guys! But here's two seconds of your hard work!"
9:04 p.m.: You knew that was coming -- Jennifer Aniston's on the stage, so we have to get a shot of Brad and the homewrecker.
9:01 p.m.: Simon Beaufoy begins what will presumably be a Slumdog Millionaire juggernaut with a win for Best Adapted Screenplay. How are you doing on your predictions? I'm three for three so far, thank you very much.
8:57 p.m.: Best Original Screenplay goes to Dustin Lance Black, who gives a sweet speech reassuring gay kids that God does love them. He goes on to prophecy that gay marriage will be legalized. You heard it here first, folks!
8:55 p.m.: Impressive -- they found a 5-second clip of In Bruges with no profanity.
8:53 p.m.: Steve Martin and Tina Fey together gives everyone in the room a simultaneous comedygasm.
8:47 p.m.: We have our first winner: Penelope Cruz for Best Supporting Actress! It's actually kind of sexy how she pronounces all three syllables in "pri-vi-lege," unlike most English-speakers.
8:46 p.m.: Taraji P. Henson's like, "Aw, geez, why did I get stuck with Goldie Hawn?!"
8:41 p.m.: Hey, it's Oscar's version of The View, with Tilda Swinton in the Barbara Walters role.
8:40 p.m.: Who would have thought Hugh Jorgan could take something as old and creaky as the Billy Crystal-style opening song-and-dance and bring it into the 21st century?
8:35 p.m.: So far he's sung about "an ocean of human excrement" and "pubic hair." That's the Australians for you, folks.
8:33 p.m.: Hugh Jackman, ladies and gentlemen! They said he wasn't going to do the opening monologue jokey silly funny thing, but he's killin'! I've already laughed more at him than I did the entire time Whoopi Goldberg hosted.
8:25 p.m.: I'm not naming names, but someone here is jealous of Leslie Mann for getting to be the middle of a Seth Rogen/Judd Apatow sandwich.
8:22 p.m.: We have our first mistake! That guy just called Penelope Cruz "sexy" and "beautiful."
8:18 p.m.: Some consternation has been expressed here at my Oscar party over the fact that Miley Ray Cyrus has for some reason been invited to the Oscars. An ad hoc committee should be appointed to look into this.
8:08 p.m.: Welcome to Cinematical's super magical special live-blogging Oscar extravaganza! We start with ABC's coverage of the red carpet arrivals! Which we don't care about! We'll check back in a few minutes. In the meantime, check out some images below.
8:00 p.m.: Is this thing on?