"Oh, good grief, it's Oscar."
--Lucille Bluth, "Arrested Development"

(The following post is written to the tune of Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler," which was not among those nominated for Best Original Song when the 81st Academy Award nominations were announced earlier today.)

Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
We'd call 'em by another name, the Academy
Have you ever seen a piece of pap that they all wouldn't eat?
If you've ever seen that Crash, then you'd agree.

Then you'd agree, The Dark Knight should've had more of a shot
Then you'd agree, Gran Torino deserved to go home with naught
Then you'd agree, I'm struggling to come up with just one more bon mot
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
We sure as hell would've asked for a whole lot more

Couldn't Let the Right One In have been recognized outside of Foreign?
If they'd even seen that movie, then they'd agree
Didn't The Reader leave most of these guys snorin'?
If they'd stayed up for this movie, then they'd agree

Then you'd agree, Dear Zachary... shouldn't have been snubbed from the start
Then you'd agree, The Fall was a tremendous work of art (direction)
Then you'd agree, they left off Gommorah too, old fart after old fart
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
We really would've asked for a whole lot more

Those nods that have comforted me, I drive away
For all of Milk's attention, I just cannot feel gay
The snubs here and there have caused far too much dismay

Have you ever seen a year where AMPAS actually got it right?
I'll plan to watch something else that February night...