'Chadni Chowk to China'

If you died and went to Heaven and asked for a movie trailer to be made just for you, what would it look like? Would it fuse your interest in Bollywood musicals with your love for classic martial arts fight scenes, reflect your appreciation for beautiful women, indulge your affection for cheesy special effects and inability to resist a cheap gag? Would it look something like the insane trailer for Chandni Chowk to China?

Head on over to Apple's trailers page and take a gander, but be forewarned: I found it addictive and as damaging to my nervous system as stuffing myself with a pound of the sweetest of candies. Describing itself as the "first ever Bollywood Kungfu comedy," Chandni Chowk to China follows Sidhu (Akshay Kumar), a lowly worker at a humble food stand in Chandni Chowk, a famous, crowded market in Delhi, India. Sidhu dreams of a better life, chasing futilely after his dreams, until two strangers from China arrive, claiming that he is a reincarnated war hero and take him to their rural village. Along the way he meets the beautiful Sakhi (Deepika Padukone). Deception abounds, however, and Sidhu soon finds himself pitted against a vicious smuggler, played by none other than the legendary Gordon Liu (Executioners From Shaolin, Kill Bill). Are you freakin' kidding me?

The film opens on January 16 across the US at the usual theatrical venues that play Bollywood films, plus a few additional cinemas, depending on the market (check the web site for theater listings). If it delivers on the promise of its delirious trailer, Chandni Chowk to China could conceivably lure an even broader audience to explore Indian cinema.

[Hattip: Twitch and Kaiju Shakedown.]