I was hoping that Universal was making a movie about me and my two lost Desert Eagles, but no dice. Instead, they've optioned Steven Grant's graphic novel 2 Guns, published by Boom! Studios, who is just optioning comic books left and right.

2 Guns is about two thieves, Trench and Steadman, who get it in their heads to rob a local bank. They believe it's a mob bank, and that they'll be ripping off fellow criminals. But unbeknownst to the other, neither man is actually a criminal, they're both undercover cops. But that's not the only crazy secret they uncover, as they quickly realize that their bank heist is a mob set-up to rob the CIA of $50 million.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Universal is hoping to turn it into a buddy cop picture in the vein of Lethal Weapon and 48 Hrs, but with "a modern spin." (Once again, I feel like I should check myself into an nursing home at the very thought that Lethal Weapon is old and musty.) No director has been attached, but Marc Platt (who's clearly anxious to make even more bullets fly after Wanted) is producing alongside Boom's Andrew Cosby and Ross Richie. No one has been attached to direct or do the script yet.

Boom! has a preview of Grant's comic online -- and maybe I am getting old, because I can barely read the text. Maybe one of you young whippersnappers will have better luck and can give me a proper review. Meanwhile, I'm going to go work on a script about my two lost guns and hope I can sell it to Warner Bros. If I add more violence, it could be a Guy Ritchie vehicle.