Uwe Boll's latest "masterpiece" Postal was scheduled to open next weekend in 1500 theaters, deliberately going up against Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But, according to a story at Cinema Blend, Boll's people issued a release this morning claiming that U.S. distributors have dropped the film and that it will only be released on four screens. An additional source says the film will open in five cities: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver and Tucson. Boll claims that he has even tried to rent additional screens, but to no avail.

Typically, the outspoken, outrageous director is calling it a conspiracy, the latest example of everyone being out to get him. He also says, "Theatrical distributors are boycotting 'Postal' because of its political content. We were prepared to open on 1500 screens all across America on May 23rd. Any multiplex in the U.S. should have space for us, but they're afraid."

Frankly, that's highly unlikely, just as it's unlikely that the film is being canceled because it's bad. The most likely reason is that none of Boll's films have ever turned a profit, unlike films by bad directors like Michael Bay, Eli Roth and Brett Ratner, who are moneymaking machines, despite their ineptitude. Postal stars Zack Ward as "Dude," who teams up with his cult leader uncle (Dave Foley) to heist an amusement park. Unfortunately, the Taliban(!) has the same idea at the same time. Of course, George W. Bush (Brent Mendenhall) and Osama bin Laden (Larry Thomas) also appear. Like Boll's other films, it's based on a video game.


In other Boll news, the petition to stop the German-born director from making any more films currently stands at nearly 276,000. It needs one million signatures by May 23 to take effect, though it's not clear if the cancellation of Postal changes the rules. But even if we have to write off Postal, Boll's next film Tunnel Rats, has just begun making the rounds. Only time will tell if the world is ready for it.