Remember those lines in your high school yearbook that claimed so and so was most likely to do such and such? You know, like most likely to succeed, most likely to be famous, most likely to be the target of a senatorial investigation. That's the angle were going with today as we look at five recent trailers with an eye for what they're most likely to accomplish.

The Spirit
This one is the movie most likely to have people saying "who the hell is The Spirit." This is a character with a long and illustrious history in the world of comics (check out his Wikipedia entry for the full story) who was created by one of the acknowledged masters of the form, but outside of the comics niche, most people have never heard of him. To the best of my knowledge, the only time the character appeared in another medium was when Sam Jones of Flash Gordon fame played the him in a failed TV pilot in 1987. This film version is directed by Frank Miller and his Sin City style is very much in evidence. I like the look, and I like the fact that Miller has The Spirit leaping off the title logo as he often did in the comics. Here's what Elisabeth thought of it.

Sea of Dust
This is the film most likely to give people Grindhouse flashbacks, as long as you see the version of the trailer that's up on Youtube or the one at upcominghorrormovies.com. The preview has the intentionally worn and scratched look consistent with what Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino did with Grindhouse. Not exactly an original idea, but it looks cool and it certainly got my attention. Oddly, the version shown on the film's official site doesn't have the weathered look. This period horror flick is an homage to both the classic Hammer horror films and the works of Italian scare maestro Mario Bava (there's a scene with a dank dungeon hallway lit with multi-colored lights that's pure Bava). The film stars Tom Savini as the villainous Prester John whose evil threatens the residents of a small village, with Hammer films alumnus Ingrid Pitt (The Vampire Lovers, Countess Dracula) also starring. I'm still a bit hazy on the plot even after reading the synopsis at the official site, but I love Hammer and Bava, so I have to see this one.




College
This is definitely the film most likely to be unfavorably compared to the works of Judd Apatow, who has made the raunchy comedy popular again. Man, this looks awful. Drake Bell of the Nickolodeon series Drake and Josh is obviously trying to prove he's moved beyond being a child actor, but between this and Superhero Movie, I think the kid needs to fire his agent. Three high school seniors visit a college campus looking to party, and wackiness ensues. One of the great lessons of life is that college hijinks are hilarious when they're happening to you, but to everyone else (particularly the sober people), they're just plain annoying. If this horribly unfunny trailer doesn't help you make your decision, check out the poster which features a guy with his head in the toilet. Such subtlety. Here's Jessica's take.

The Objective
This is the film most likely to be compared to The Blair Witch Project. The story, which involves U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan lost in a sort of Middle Eastern Bermuda Triangle in which bizarre and inexplicable things happen, certainly has a Blair Witchy flavor. Perhaps that's because The Objective is directed by Blair Witch co-director Daniel Myrick. This actually looks kind of interesting, but I get nervous when a film maker starts repeating himself. Here's what Erik had to say about the trailer.

My Best Friend's Girl
I realized this was the film most likely to have a Cars song on the soundtrack when I first heard the title, and sure enough the song "My Best Friend's Girl" shows up in the trailer. Once again Jason Biggs is playing a good hearted young man who can't seem to find love. He's mad for Kate Hudson's character, but his neediness puts her off. He must then turn to his friend played by Dane Cook to treat her like garbage to make Biggs' character look good by comparison, but Cook and Hudson's characters end up falling in love. Even if the presence of Dane Cook in a film wasn't a deal breaker for me (and it is) this Cyrano de Bergerac on acid plot is giving me intestinal distress of Biblical proportions. I will pass on this one. Here's Eugene's take.

Don't forget this week's new trailers on AOL Moviefone:
  • Mother of Tears - The long awaited third installment of Dario Argento's Three Mothers Trilogy. Check out the trailer right here:

  • Hellboy II: The Golden Army - Second trailer for Guillermo del Toro's sequel which frankly reeks of awesomeness. Here's the trailer:

  • London to Brighton - A middle aged prostitute and a twelve year old runaway are on the lam after a client turns up dead.
  • The Unknown Woman - A Russian woman plots to work her way into an affluent Italian family's household as a maid for a sinister purpose.
  • First Saturday in May' - A documentary that follows six trainers as they struggle to get their horses in the Kentucky Derby.
  • How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer - Three generations of women in a Mexican American family discover love one summer.
  • Children of Huang Shi - Set in a war-torn China of the 1930's, this film tells the story of three people who join forces to save the lives of 60 orphaned children.
  • The Wackness - A coming of age story set in New York City in 1994 at the start of Mayor Giuliani's city-wide cleanup.
  • Miss Conception - A comedy starring a surprisingly British sounding Heather Graham as a woman facing her last chance at motherhood and who has only two weeks left in which she can conceive.
  • Space Chimps - CGI animated family comedy about chimps being launched into space.
  • The House Bunny - A Playboy bunny is kicked out of Hef's mansion for daring to reach the ripe old age of 27 and takes a new job as house mother to a sorority of dorks.
  • Postal - Spoof on terrorism and world politics from director Uwe Boll.