I absolutely adore Jack Arnold's The Incredible Shrinking Man. I think it's without question one of the finest science fiction movies ever made. Not only does it have an endlessly fascinating story, but the 1957 film is also smart, sad and scary ... plus it has one of the most wonderfully thought-provoking endings I've ever seen. And since I love this movie so darn much, I couldn't stop weeping as I read this recent news piece at The Hollywood Reporter...

Not only is Universal (stupidly) intent on turning The Incredible Shrinking Man into a comedy (because that worked so damn well on The Stepford Wives), and not only are they planning to give the lead role to Eddie Murphy ... but things just got a whole lot worse. First off, the newest screenwriters to climb on board are Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant, two guys who proved their comedy chops on The State and Reno 911 -- and then obliterated those chops by writing the screenplays for Herbie: Fully Loaded, Taxi, Balls of Fury, Night at the Museum, The Pacifier and Let's Go to Prison. Surely these are the men who should re-write one of the best sci-fi movies ever made.

Oh, but it gets even better! Although Keenan Ivory Wayans and Pete Segal had been attached to the project at one point or another, it looks like Universal now wants Brett Ratner to direct this horrid idea. Now, I'm not one of those film nerds who thinks that Brett Ratner is the worst director ever born (far from it, actually), but nor do I think he's all that exciting of a filmmaker. I just can't believe that such a beautiful little sci-fi gem is being morphed into this sort of misguided train wreck.
And the first person who says "Oh, they're making it for kids," gets a virtual slap on the neck. I saw the original Shrinking Man when I was nine years old, and it blew me away a lot more than any fart-comedy would have -- and that's what this new version will be: A special effects fart comedy in which Eddie Murphy screams a lot. Awesome, we need another one of those. Hey guys, here's a better idea: Why not remake The Incredible Shrinking Woman? That's already a comedy -- and that way you won't be urinating all over a classic.