Warning: Possible spoilers below.
We at Cinematical have gleefully kept you updated on the status of the promised sequel to Brian Taylor and Mark Neveldine's crazy-ass live-action cartoon Crank. Thanks to what must be one of the most fascinating casting calls of all time, we now have more specifics about what's in store for Jason Statham's apparently invincible Chev Chelios. (If you recall, he ended the first film by plunging a mile from a helicopter and
crashing onto the concrete landing on a car. [Thanks to commenter Liam for the correction.])
In addition to the details of how Chev survived the fall, which we already knew (he gets implanted with -- what else? -- an artificial heart which he has to jolt with electricity to keep pumping), The Bad and Ugly has snagged descriptions of a couple characters from the casting call for Crank 2: High Voltage. Among them are "Hu Dong," a 100 year-old Chinese gangster who implants Chev's old heart into himself and is then "lured into Doc Miles' clutches by the seductive Vanilla." I don't know what that means, but it sounds amazing. There's also "Pepper," a stripper who turns up in the back seat of a car that Chev steals and is somehow able to give Chev information about the whereabouts of one of his nemeses. Oh, and unless you're "OKAY WITH NUDITY" -- just like that, in all caps -- don't bother auditioning for "Pepper".
Ordinarily, reading tidbits like that about an upcoming studio release (Lionsgate is footing at least part of the bill) would send me scurrying under my desk to search for my jaw. But in the Taylor/Neveldine universe, which will also soon include the vicious-looking Pathology, it sounds like par for the course. I'm psyched.