In 2006, Joe Dante told us it was coming.

In 2007, we learned of the French connection.

in 2008, I'm telling you that it will be in 3-D.

In 2009, we will have a new movie called ... Piranha!

According to the rotten one over at STYD.com, Dimension's remake of the Joe Dante / John Sayles mini-classic is now scheduled for release on July 24, 2009. And I'm sure that date will stick because the Weinsteins never change release dates over and over on their aquatic horror movies. (Seriously, where the hell is Rogue already?) But the news gets even campier...

3-D! Yes! The plot -- "a tremor causes Arizona's Lake Havasu floor to open, setting free scores of prehistoric piranhas" -- will be in service to that awesomeness known as 3-D exhibition! Hundreds of gross, ugly, scary, ravenous piranhas ... in 3-D! The spirit of William Castle is alive and well and living in the Weinsteins' attic. I refuse to let the fact that one of the co-writers penned Good Luck Chuck deter me: A 3-D Piranha remake from the guy who directed High Tension: Bring it on.