CATEGORIES Cinematical

I thought about this long and hard. Should I invite Angelina Jolie and get her loaded on boxed wine? Should I invite Calista Flockhart so I can have all the food to myself? But then I remembered back to when a similar question was posed to me in elementary school. My third grade teacher wanted us to write a report on "If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" She read the reports aloud, and most of the answers were along the lines of: The President, Martin Luther King Jr, Jesus Christ, and John F. Kennedy. I selected Batman. And you know? I stand by the decision to this day.

You see, I'd invite Batman (Michael Keaton Batman, of course) for Thanksgiving dinner, but then I'd cancel the day before, claiming my stove was broken. Then Batman, being the nice (bat)man that he is, would say "No sweat, Patrick. Why don't we do dinner at my place?" Boom -- I'm inside Wayne Manor. Alfred would tell us hilarious stories about Batman's youth while cooking the meal (and you know that dude can cook or Batman would have let him go by now). We'd sit at that insanely long dining room table and joke about how lame Robin is, and how Schumacher ruined the franchise. While waiting for dessert, Batman would let me try out some of the gadgets, including but not limited to the super sweet Batarang. "Where did you get these wonderful toys?" I'd ask Batman, and the two of us would share a knowing laugh. And at the end of the night, even though the fans may balk, Batman would let me into the Batcave for a tour.

I also intend to get really drunk, so Batman has to drive me home. That's right -- Batmobile, baby! Happy Thanksgiving to me!

Erik Davis would invite ...