Sometimes news is better than anything our twisted minds could ever cook up. Not only has moviemaker rationale completely left the universe, but Michelle Pfeiffer's sanity has gone with it, if a recent article from News.com.au is to be believed. She says that she has been approached about an upcoming remake of the epically dirty, kid-friendly classic, Grease, and I quote: "It's a great idea and I hear they would like to get Jessica Simpson for the role of Sandy, she would be good." Oh, God. Where do I start?! This might just be a sign that the apocalypse is coming.

Okay. Let me start with the hideous part of this news: Simpson would be good? Simpson is being looked at for SANDY? Now, no matter how much I am not into her as an actress, and how wary I am of musical remakes (my response to Footloose exemplifies that), who in their right mind would cast someone who can't even get her features released? And in a starring role of a remake of a beloved musical? Has no one heard about Blonde Ambition? This seriously can't be true. If they wanted to remake Grease 2, and put Rob Schneider in the role Johnny Nogerelli, I could see it -- Zmed, Schneider... I can dig it in a goofy sort of way. But man, I'd love to hear what Olivia Newton-John says about all of this.

Now onto Pfeiffer. She says that she wants to play Principal McGee: "She is fun and has some great put-down lines. I think I would like the part now that I have been asked." However, cut into my cheese-loving heart, she detests her role in Grease 2: "I hated that film with a vengeance and could not believe how bad it was. At the time I was young and didn't know any better... I hear it's a cult movie now." Yeah, Michelle, it is. It's even one of the reasons Brian Herzlinger loves Drew Barrymore. Anyway, why rant about one and then want to be in a remake of the other? But even that doesn't matter as much as how and why she'd think Simpson would be good in this.

I must stop ranting about this now, as I could go on for pages and no one wants that. But let's have some fun first. We've got Simpson as Sandy, so what other terrible casting choices could they make to really make this potential remake even more laughable?

[via Cinema Blend]