CATEGORIES Cinematical

Hey, Scorpion King fans! Both of you! Get ready for a prequel to that film, minus the one thing it had going for it --- The Rock! Yes, Moviehole is reporting that a prequel called The Scorpion King: Rise of the Akkadian starts shooting this October. Rise of the Akkadian was also the name of a 2002 video game based on Scorpion King -- I never played it so I can't be sure if the two have anything to do with one another. The new film "will tell the backstory of the Polynesian warrior and his relationship with long time love Layla." Thank God! I think we can all agree The Scorpion King was one of all the all-time great screen romances, and I've been dying to know how it came to be! Akkadian will be directed by Russell Mulcahy, who did Highlander (which Talladega Nights taught us won the Academy Award for "Best Movie Ever Made") 20 years ago and mostly music videos and television since.

Interested in playing the Scorpion King? Here's what the filmmakers are looking for: "There is no requirement to look exactly like a young Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, but we still need an EXOTIC QUALITY: Polynesian, mixed race, Arabic, brunette. NOT blond. We also need our Mathayus to reflect the charisma and comedic elements of the character created by The Rock, especially in his warm, relaxed and humorous relationship with Layla, the young girl whom he has grown up with, and with whom he experiences a growing sexual tension." I know I'm auditioning. For those of you keeping track at home, Rise of the Akkadian will be, if I have this all straight -- a prequel to a prequel of a sequel of a remake. Just take a moment to let that wash over you. A prequel to a prequel of a sequel of a remake. And they say there are no original ideas in Hollywood!