Well friends, if you ever needed more evidence that Hollywood has completely run out of ideas, look no further than this week's new movies. Yep ... there's an Ocean's three-quel, a Hostel sequel and another freakin' penguin movie.
Just in case you've missed all the hype that these stars and the studio have been spewing forth ... George Clooney, Brad Pitt, the other 11 and a new one hit the screen this weekend in Ocean's Thirteen.
In this installment, Danny Ocean and his group of con men head back to Vegas try to pull off their most ambitious and riskiest heist yet. This time it's to take down a casino owner, played by Al Pacino, who snookered their mentor and friend played by Elliot Gould.
The Reel Deal: If you enjoy the caper movies and it just makes you feel good to keep padding these guys wallets...then party down with Oceans 13. It's a harmless enough movie ... not great, not horrible, but me? ... I like these guys individually but together they just seem like one big Smuggy McSmartypants, and this movie feels like Ocean's 113. For what it's worth, I took Hippie Assistant Matt (HAM) to see the movie, and he loved it. But I'm pretty sure he was baked, so there you go. He's in; I'm out.
Hey, did you know surfing was invented by penguins? That's the theme in the summer's next big animated movie Surf's Up. You see, a surfing penguin named Cody (Shia LaBeouf) heads south for the championships. And of course along the way he gets some life lessons from an ex-surfing penguin legend voiced by Jeff Bridges and the island lifeguard penguin featuring the voice of the lovely Zooey Deschanel.
The Reel Deal: Apparently, like the rest of America's children, I suffer from the ADD because the snail's pace and the muted colors literally put me to sleep. Again, it's a harmless enough movie ... not great, not terrible ... but I seriously could not stay awake. So simply based on the movie's narcotic-like effect ... I'm in. Not really ... I'm out ... but it was a good nap.
Hey, if blood-letting and horrible, terrible, gruesome torture is your idea of a good time at the movies, then by all means check out Hostel: Part II.
In the sequel to the sleeper horror hit, three American girls studying in Rome are drawn into a world of torture. The coeds cross paths with a model who invites them to join her on vacation. The three go along, but they soon become pawns of the sick and privileged who travel to Europe to pay ($) for their grisly pursuits.
The Reel Deal: Well, director Eli Roth would have you believe that there's some redeeming value to these movies ... but since there were no screenings for critics, he's making the statement that they must have absolutely no value at all ... I'm inclined to agree with him. And who are the people who can't wait to see this movie? My feeling is that they are the same people who were killing frogs and pulling the wings off butterflies as children.
P.S. If you would like to attempt to defend the value of these movies, let's have it. I'll be happy to listen to your views ... frog killer.