Picture this one: This year's Cannes Film Festival is in full swing, and a ton of stuffy critics anxiously wait in line to catch the world premiere of ... Illegal Aliens, starring Anna Nicole Smith and Joanie "Chyna Doll" Laurer. Yes, Smith's last film will be getting the red carpet treatment over there in France next month when it (thankfully) screens out of competition. (Could you even imagine asking judges to consider handing this atrocity an award?) While the DVD is set to hit the States on May 1, Cannes ultimately decided to shine a deserving spotlight on this mega-masterpiece. Why? Well, to capitalize on Anna Nicole's death like everyone else. Duh.
What's it about, you ask? In the pic, three aliens (and I've decided to use the description off IMDb here because it's too good to pass up) "morph into super-hot babes and arrive to protect the earth from the intergalactic forces of evil. Guided by Syntax, their holographic mentor, these Illegal Aliens are willing to use every trick in the book and every sexy outfit in their wardrobe to accomplish their mission!" Oh, those dirty French -- what will they come up with next? Since our own James Rocchi will be attending the Cannes fest on behalf of Cinematical this year, should we be bastards and actually make him cover this Oscar contender?
Personally, I think it's pretty absurd that they're actually screening this film. And for what reason? So people can sit there and say, "Wow, there's Anna Nicole. She's dead now. And this is how people will remember her." What do you think -- should a film festival as prestigious as Cannes screen a direct-to-DVD piece of crap like Illegal Aliens?