Half way through the following article, I had to stop, rewind and somehow digest the fact that I just read a sentence in which legendary director Alfred Hitchcock called himself a "whore" with regards to his involvement in Steven Spielberg's "fish movie," Jaws. In his new memoir, Things I've Said, But Probably Shouldn't Have, actor Bruce Dern tells of the time he attempted to introduce Alfred Hitchcock to a then up-and-coming director Steven Spielberg.

At the time, Spielberg was coming off Jaws and desperately wanted to meet his idol, Hitchcock. Yet, when Hitchcock refused, Dern was determined to find out why -- and, here's how he said Hitchcock replied: "Because I'm the voice of the Jaws ride [at Universal Studios]. They paid me a million dollars. And I took it and I did it. I'm such a whore. I can't sit down and talk to the boy who did the fish movie . . . I couldn't even touch his hand." Whoa. First off, I had no idea Hitchcock lent his voice to that ride, did you? Secondly, it appears to me as if Hitchcock might have been a bit jealous of Spielberg and Jaws -- forced to take a massive pay day for voice over work on a theme park ride, only to go sneak into a corner and watch Jaws become one of the greatest horror flicks in history.

Of course, Hitchcock passed away in 1980 and was never able to witness (with the exception of Jaws 2 in 1978) the way in which the Jaws franchise was whored out to the moviegoing public over the years. Man, I'd love to know what he would've said about Jaws 3-D.