The 2007 Sundance Film Festival is a wrap. I saw some outstanding movies (King of California, Grace Is Gone, Son of Rambow, The Nines) and some not-so-outstanding movies (The Go-Getter, Smiley Face), some A-list celebs (Justin Timberlake, Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci) and some not-so-A-list celebs (Heavyset Girl #1 from Black Snake Moan). All in all, it was a great experience, full of flicks, fun and plenty of Bud Lights. In order to best summarize the things I saw, heard and learned at the festival, I now present Sundance by the Numbers.
1: Number of times I heard Justin Timberlake ask Samuel L. Jackson, "Are there any motherf#&!in snakes in Black Snake Moan?"
1: Number of times I heard Samuel L. Jackson reply "Only trouser snakes."
1: Number of movies about a girl who grows an actual set of teeth in her vagina. The twisted and, yes, crowd-pleasing flick is quite appropriately entitled Teeth, and those dangerous vajay-jay chompers belong to rising star Jess Weixler (Little Manhattan).
1: Number of people who laid down on the floor and went to sleep during the press screening of Heather Graham's Adrift in Manhattan.
1: Number of dudes dancing shirtless at the Sundance Awards after-party.
2: Number of movies in which a character goes off to war in Iraq and gives a loved one a digital wristwatch with an alarm set to beep at the same time as the alarm on his/her wristwatch -- that way they'll know they're thinking about each other at the exact same moment. Justin Timberlake gives one to Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan, and John Cusack's unseen wife gives one to their daughter in Grace Is Gone.
3: Number of times Christina Ricci takes her top off in Black Snake Moan.
4: Number of times Ryan Reynolds takes his shirt off in the first 20 minutes of The Nines.
4: Millions of dollars paid by Harvey Weinstein for distribution rights to Audience Award and Screenwriting Award winner Grace Is Gone.Anna Faris eats at the outset of the unfortunately unfunny comedy Smiley Face.
7: Number of times my friend Lesley cried during Grace Is Gone.
8: Millions of dollars paid by Paramount Vantage for rights to Son of Rambow, a charming British coming-of-age tale starring, well, no one you've ever heard of.
9: Number of times in a row I would have watched writer-director John August's trippy, funny, powerful and just-a-bit mind-blowing flick The Nines if Sundance officials would have let me.
10: Number of vignettes, each inspired by one of the Ten Commandments, which comprise The Ten.
12: Number of films I saw in four days.
17: Number of movies with titles that could be easily confused with the name of another Sundance film: The Ten vs. Chicago 10 vs. The Nines; Phantom Canyon vs. Phantom Love; The Good Life vs. The Good Night; Chapter 27 vs. Girl 27; Year of the Dog vs. Year of the Fish vs. For a Swim With the Fish vs. How Is Your Fish Today?; Ghosts vs. Chasing Ghosts vs. Ghosts of Abu Gharib; and last but not least Interview (the short film) vs. Interview (the feature film). Is your brain hurting yet?
23: Number of people who walked out of the press screening of the road-trip dramedy The Go-Getter. Seriously -- I counted.
50: Ballpark figure for the number of guys a tall, hot and apparently slutty angel (Rie Rasmussen) fornicates with, one after the other, in the men's room in Luc Besson's strange but amusing fantasy-romance Angel-A. Ah yes, French angels are so virtuous.