Are you among the 14 people who actually paid money to see Date Movie? If so, at any point during that movie did you find yourself thinking "Wow, I really hope someone gives these filmmakers money to make another spoof movie!!"? Well, if so then you're an idiot. Because someone did. And now we have something to look forward to called Epic Movie.

Based on this retina-demolishing trailer, Epic Movie looks to be yet another endless collection of movie-related sketch comedy bits. Yeah, just like Date Movie, all four Scary Movie movies, and every Leslie Nielsen "comedy" post-1981. To be fair, writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer spent a good deal of time on their Date Movie audio commentary apologizing for the lame jokes and atrocious filmmaking ... so let's just see if the guys tried a little harder this time out. Sad to say that based solely on the trailer, I'm not exactly holding my breath.

Epic Movie performers include Kal Penn, Fred Willard, Jennifer Coolidge and Crispin Glover as Willy Wonka. Limp-ass parody bits that'd get booed off the stage on free beer open-mike night include swipes at X-Men, Superman Returns, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Chronicles of Narnia, Nacho Libre, Snakes on a Plane ... Borat, and ... um, Paris Hilton. Witty, timely and truly "epic" stuff there, fellas. I can barely wait to see what Friedberg & Seltzer have cooked up for January 2008. After Scary Movie, Date Movie and Epic Movie, I can only assume the next one will be called Crap Movie.

For those who'd like to know when they should avoid the local multiplex as if it were infected with Insta-Deth Ebola, I'll tell you this: Epic Movie opens on January 27th. And if the thing's even half as wretched as the trailer (or, god help us, Date Movie), I think I may pen a strongly-worded letter to Fox and ask where I can get some of whatever they're obviously taking.