Not content with rumors of romantic entanglement with Lindsay Lohan, Jared Leto managed to get gout while effectuating what all the sources are calling a "dramatic weight loss," from his fattified role in the movie about the killing of John Lennon, Chapter 27.

Gout is an incredibly painful form of arthritis where crystals (crystals?!) form inside a joint, and crunch up against each other everytime the joint is moved. This then causes further nastiness like swelling in the surrounding tissues and, probably, incredible grouchiness in the victim. Leto, frontman for the, um, totally awesome band 30 Seconds to Mars, is not the only important historical figure to suffer from the disease. He joins the ranks of other eminent men like Ben Franklin, Karl Marx, Benjamin Disraeli, Pablo Neruda and Alexander Hamilton in coping with his crystally joints.

To be fair, and to add context, Mr. Leto was quite excellent (and extremely skinny) in Requiem for a Dream. And we do actually quite love him in roles like his in American Psycho and Fight Club (where he was the "something beautiful" Ed Norton destroyed). But he will perpetually hold a little heart-throb place in my heart as Jordan Catalano.

Of course, he didn't look all that gouty last night, when he rolled up in a biodiesel powered army vehicle (all the bling of a hummer, with less environmental guilt) ...