Man of the Year Heads to Rehab!

After a solid 20 years of sobriety, Robin Williams slipped back into a nasty relationship with the bottle recently. However, the actor decided to check himself into rehab before things got out of hand, and resulted in Williams spewing anti-Death to Smoochy remarks during a routine traffic stop. If all goes well, he'll be back in the swing of things this fall as he prepares to promote the upcoming Man of the Year, in which he stars as, well, the man of the year.

Madonna Quits Acting!

Yes, you heard that right -- Madonna has decided to give up acting ... forever! Not because she doesn't like appearing in films. Oh no, she's just fed up with the way people automatically assume her acting in a movie spells disaster. Says Madonna, "How can any film survive if everyone says it's going to be a flop from the very day the project is even conceived?" Heck, I don't know -- perhaps you should ask Uwe Boll that question. Fear not fans, the singer-turned-actress will continue to spit out crappy albums for the rest of eternity.

Lou Diamond Phillips Arrested!

After responding to a domestic disturbance early Friday morning, police arrested Lou Diamond Phillips for allegedly attacking his live-in girlfriend with a La Bamba DVD ... full-screen version! (Okay, I added that last part on in order to sneak in a La Bamba reference. On second thought, is La Bamba even available on DVD? If so, anyone want to admit owning it?) According to authorities, problems began when a verbal argument between Phillips and his girlfriend turned physical. Released on his own recognizance, it doesn't appear Phillips will have to Stand and Deliver his side of the story to a judge any time soon.