Jen and Vince Engaged!

Though I'm not big on celebrity weddings and engagements, I felt obligated to let you all know that, apparently, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are engaged to be married. After dating for only one year, the couple has decided to take the plunge, leaving us here at Cinematical with only two words for the happy lovebirds: Mazel Tov! Detailed accounts of the actual proposal will be available in this week's edition of Us Weekly, though you can currently check them out online for free. Long story short: He got down on one knee and she said yes. There, I just saved you three minutes.

Nicholson to Demolish Brando's Crib!

After purchasing Marlon Brando's old estate for a whopping $6.1 million, Jack Nicholson plans to demolish the entire thing in order to -- wait for it -- plant a bunch of flowers. With the property currently plagued by mold, Nicholson has been advised it would be too expensive to renovate. Heck, for $6.1 million, those flowers better stand up and dance on command. Seriously though, flowers? Jack -- my man -- and here I thought you were such a cool dude.

Mel's "Moron" Tapes Kept Under Lock and Key!

Yeah, so it looks like we're not going to be able to watch or hear Mel Gibson make as ass of himself. Darn. Authorities have refused to release video and audio tapes of Gibson's arrest because they are part of an ongoing investigation. TMZ, the celebrity news website which first broke the Gibson story, asked for the tapes to be released in order to drive a ton of traffic towards their site let the public judge whether the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department actually gave the actor preferential treatment. Based on the absurd amount of coverage given to this story, I'd say enough damage has been caused. How about we give the guy a break and let him correct his idiotic behavior?