Kevin Smith to Bryan Singer: Superman Needs More Gay!

Hey, here's a great Monday Morning Poll: When will Kevin Smith finally shut the hell up? The Clerks 2 director recently slammed Superman Returns, claiming he was upset Bryan Singer didn't make the film more gay. Smith, who was once working on his own draft of Superman, was hoping Singer would make a really gay Man of Steel, instead of, what Smith calls, "Jesus' Superman." In fact, he'd rather have had Singer take on X-Men 3 saying, "I was really looking forward to him doing the third one because it would be an out-and-out gay fantasia--I was hoping that the dude would go for a kind of 'Brokeback Mutant' kind of movie, but he opted to do Superman." Hmm, do I detect a hint of jealousy? Hey Kevin, let us know when you've finished, Jay and Silent Bob Return Again Because I've Run Out of Ideas -- we're all dying to see it.

Jackman's Jeans Worth a Small Fortune!

Have you ever wondered how much it would cost to get into Hugh Jackman's pants? How about $22, 476? I'm not joking. An old pair of blue jeans once owned by the X-Men star were auctioned off recently as part of a fundraising event for the Children's Medical Research Institute in Sydney. "Jeans for Genes" featured 17 pairs of pants once worn by folks like Nicole Kidman and model Megan Gale. That's right, and a sign out front read, "Note to fat people: These will not fit you!" Just kidding. Or am I? In case you're wondering, Kidman's jeans sold for only $8,200. Hey, who knew she was such a cheap date?

Salma Hayek is Not Rich!

Listen up folks -- Salma Hayek does not have $100 million dollars. Get it through your head. Stop spreading rumors. The woman is dirt poor, ya dig? I heard she's peddling pictures of herself in a bathing suit outside a Motel 6 in order to help pay for her next meal. Seriously, get your facts straight. Recently, the very beautiful actress was pissed after local media in Mexico and Latin America claimed Hayek had earned northward of a $100 million. This, she claims, is not true. According to Hayek, if she did have that much money, she would do a lot more to help the poor ... instead of simply ignoring the vile creatures. As if this story isn't absurd enough, check out the following sentence from the attached article: "With things as they are in Mexico, it bothers me that they put me in a group of millionaires with $100 million I don't have when there are so many people dying of hunger," Hayek said, pausing the interview in a brief panic to scoop a drowning rat out of her swimming pool." I love it! Now, would a millionaire really have time to save a drowning rat? I think not.