Jessica Biel Sells Herself for $30 Grand!

How much would you pay to go on a date with Jessica Biel? Five dollars? Ten dollars? How about fifty cents and an autographed 7th Heaven poster? Well, one man paid a whopping $30 grand to spend some time with Esquire's "Sexiest Women Alive" and, not surprisingly, he chose to remain nameless. Actually, this whole thing was all part of a charity Biel was involved in to raise money and help the family of a high school senior pay medical expenses after their daughter lost her leg in a tragic prom night limousine accident. (Okay, there's a really sick joke I can make about stuff you "lose" on prom night, but I refuse to go there. That's right, even I have a heart.) Biel agreed to have lunch with the highest bidder on August 18.

Build Your Own Suri!

Are you one of those people who have nothing better to do than sit around and wonder what baby Suri looks like? I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say she looks like, um, a baby. However, for some people, that's just not good enough. Enter the Suri simulator: A fun little game that lets you combine facial features of both Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes in an attempt to provoke people like me to want to smash their heads against a brick wall. Why can't we just let this go people? Why can't we accept the fact these two don't feel like subjecting their kid to a media circus? Why can't we focus on more important things ... like which Hollywood studio will be the first to snatch up the rights to the Suri simulator game and want to adapt it for the big screen? Now, there's a story worth writing.

Kate Hudson is Not Skinny!

You better think twice the next time you question Kate Hudson's weight because she might sue. The You, Me and Dupree star was recently awarded libel damages after the British version of The National Enquirer printed a story claiming Hudson looked like "skin and bones." Also, the article says Hudson's mother, Goldie Hawn, planned to confront her daughter about the weight issue. Problem is, Hawn never said that and Hudson doesn't have a weight issue -- she's just very very skinny. The tabloid magazine has agreed to pay Hudson an undisclosed amount and will print a public apology at some point in the near future. No word yet on whether Hudson will issue her own apology to fans who want to know why on earth she married the dude from The Black Crowes. Why Kate? Why?