Warning: This is another of those unsettling "According to Page Six" posts. Hide the children.

Rumor has it there's been a rather major cast change to director Baz Luhrmann's mysterious, untitled, Aussie-laden wartime epic. Once set to star Russell Crowe alongside Nicole Kidman as lovers in the Australian Outback shortly before Japan attacked Darwin in 1942 (In order to turn that boring summary into what the movie is going to be like, you have to imagine a lot of sweeping music, and "I WILL FIND YOU!"-style declarations, all shot with lots and lots of pretty colors.), the film allegedly has now switched Aussies: Nic's man is now Heath Ledger.

According to Page Six, sweet, cuddly Russell Crowe demanded script-approval rights on the project, and threatened to leave if Luhrmann and his producers failed to give in. In a move that was clearly a huge shock to Crowe, Luhrmann apparently said "Right. That's you off then." Once his bluff was called, Crowe was all, "Ah ha. Baz, you know I'm a kidder. Script approval? I don't need that. It's all good. Seriously. When do we start?" But, sadly, twas too late, and his place had been taken by a gay cowboy. (Note to Baz: If Heath gets uppity, I'd try Hugh Jackman next. After that, though, the Major Australian Star! pickings are going to get sort of slim.)