I've taken six tries so far at writing a scathing and witty introductory sentence to this post, but it seriously leaves me flabbergasted. Every clever and biting turn of phrase I invent seems too insufficient to hold all the pain, irony and sarcasm the following news deserves. I could probably write an entire opening chapter and not cover all the jokes that ache to be made here, but frankly, the simple statement itself is enough to convey all the above ideas and emotions I've described:

Halle Berry is entirely willing to make a sequel to Catwoman.

I swear to you I am not making this up. Yes, Halle Berry, who railed against her writers, producers, agents ... really anyone she could find to blame for the critically (and non-critically) lambasted farce that was Catwoman the movie. In fact, at one point Berry avowed she would never return to the franchise... but of course this was after she'd sworn off superhero flicks for fear of being typecast only to months later accept the fated lead role in Catwoman. In a round table discussion in New York, Berry made the following statement: "If they seriously said, 'We want to do another one and here's how we're going to make it better because we learned from the mistakes,' I would because I believe we could make it better."

Seriously Halle, you could dress up an actual black cat in a cape and boots and film it running around in the grass chasing field mice and it would be a better Catwoman film than the one you created. Do yourself and comic book fans everywhere a favor and stay far, far away from any suggestions of a return to the franchise. Please.