If there's one thing I don't have, it's attitude. Born and raised in New York City, I've mastered the art of looking like I have attitude by studying those around me ... and it ain't easy. Through my training, I've learned the most important rule to follow while attempting to come off as someone with severe attitude is not to smile. Smiling shows weakness and, because of this, you'll notice that 98% of all New Yorkers rarely smile. Actually that's not true -- they will smile upon seeing something bad happen to another person. They smile because they're so glad it didn't happen to them.
It's okay though -- I've accepted the fact that I don't have attitude. I mean, growing up, I was rarely involved in a situation that forced me to utilize some form of attitude. I never ran with a bunch of punk kids, never played an intense sport like football, never joined the military and I never committed a crime. However, I did play video games and watch MTV. And yet, I don't have an extensive gun collection and never engaged in copious amounts of promiscuous sex. Go figure.
As you may have guessed by now, all of the following films feature characters with attitude. Something I don't have. And never will. I blame you, Carson Daly. Welcome to this week's Trailer Park:
- With an eye for capturing the true, and often perverse nature of inner-city youth, director Larry Clark's latest, Wassup Rockers, heads west to focus on a bunch of skater kids who live in South Central. Instead of succumbing to a violent neighborhood that will not accept them, these kids decide to head towards the richer parts of LA in search of pretty girls and a whole lot of trouble.
- First, let me just say that this new trailer for Beer League is NTSW (Not Safe For Work). In fact, it is so raunchy, unless you're into that kind of stuff, I advise you to stay away. With that said, Artie Lang, best known for his daily appearance on the Howard Stern radio show, teams up with a bunch of struggling comics to bring you a sort of adult version of The Bad News Bears. While the film will struggle to make money in the theaters, with a ton of promotion on Stern's show, I can see it doing well once it hits DVD.
- Just when you think they've run out of absurd ideas, the Wayans boys are back with the appropriately titled, Little Man. When a vertically challenged thief (Marlon Wayans) slips a stolen diamond into a woman's purse, he must disguise himself as an orphaned baby in order to retrieve the goods. Dropped off at the door (in a basket) of Shawn Wayans and family, this little man will have to sacrifice getting his diaper changed on a regular basis if he's ever going to witness a big pay day.
- When a troubled kid is discharged from the Navy, he travels back home to reunite with his family and friends, most notably good old Dad (William Hurt). However, he soon learns that no one wants him there and, now, The King must try to find a way to fit back in or revert back to his delinquent past.
- As Martha pointed out yesterday, a trailer for Gridiron Gang has now hit the net. Here, The Rock stars as a renegade football coach who is hell-bent on teaching a bunch of juvenile inmates the real way to play football. Now, insert a few rappers, some humorous life-lessons taught and an ending everyone saw coming. Yeah, that about covers it.