Review Roundup: Poseidon, Just My Luck, Goal! The Dream Begins

Three major releases today, all screened for critics and, sadly, all pretty bad. Poseidon is forgettable, empty action, Just My Luck is fluff (But ain't that Lindsay Lohan sweet?), and Goal! The Dream Begins is another formulaic sports underdog story.

• Poseidon: Pretty much everyone agrees with James that this remake did away with the cheese and personalities of the original film, and has replaced them with non-stop action. They also, largely, agree that the choice wasn't a very good one (As evidenced by the fact that every single critic mentions Shelley Winters, but can hardly remember anything about the characters in the movie they're reviewing). Well, at least it's not boring. And hey, the effects are good!

• Goal! The Dream Begins: Goal! is a)about soccer, and b)formulaic: on these things, critics agree. Beyond that however, you have to wonder whether these people were watching the same movie. For example, star Kuno Becker is either blindingly talented or a waste of space. By the same token, his character's illegal immigrant status is either a sign of depth and nuance or just another part of the money-hungry studio's effort to broaden the film's appeal. Me, I'm just thrilled to see the phrases "Newcastle United" and "Alan Shearer" in the American media.

• Just My Luck: Yeah, this one's just not very good -- according to most of his critical brethren, James hits the nail on the head when he labels it "fluff" and "not horrible." Those who find good things to say about the movie are entirely focused on Lindsay Lohan who, despite her inability/unwillingness to stay off the gossip pages, remains -- to some, anyway -- a charming, talented actress. (Roger Ebert, in particular, loves her muchly.