Right now, I'm going to share something very personal with you. Not only is it personal, but it's embarrassing. It's a secret that I have lived with my entire life and, for the people in my life aware of this secret, our relationship with one another has never been the same. I've decided, once and for all, to get this off my chest. Today. To you. And if things change between us, then I hope it will be for the better. Ready?
I have no sweet tooth. Yes, I was born without an ability to crave sweets. My worst enemy: Chocolate. I hate it. I've never liked it. It doesn't matter what form the chocolate arrives in, it can never come anywhere near my mouth. One time a friend of mine tried to pull a gag and gave me a handful of M&Ms saying they were Skittles. Needless to say, no one has seen or heard from this person since. Yes, it's that bad. Yes, I have a disease. Yes, in a way, this has ruined my life.
I decided to share this with you today because all of the following films have a sweet quality about them and, at the same time, provide a nasty bite. They also prove that, sometimes, we have to put ourselves through spoonful of crap in order to enjoy the gigantic bucket of light at the end of the tunnel. Anyone want some chocolate ice cream? Welcome to this week's Trailer Park ...
- How to Eat Fried Worms proves that it's actually possible to film an entire film that centers on a boy who needs to eat a worm and, at the same time, get people to actually finance and release the damn thing. Based on the novel by Thomas Rockwell (Yes, someone wrote a whole novel about it too!), story follows a boy who makes a bet that he can eat a bunch of worms in a day. And somehow, if he pulls it off, this will make him cool. Man, getting to second base means absolutely nothing anymore, huh?
- I don't think there's one girl alive on the planet who hasn't read The Devil Wears Prada. And if such a girl does exist, then I feel very bad she's been trapped on some desert island for the past several years because I don't see how she can fit back into society without ever reading The Devil Wears Prada. Anyway, for the guys, pic is based on the popular chic-lit novel that follows a girl who gets a job working at a big magazine for one of the worst bosses of all time. Men everywhere should prepare to suck it up and take this one for the team. (Note: This is a featurette and not a trailer.)
- Remember that show on Comedy Central way back when? You know, the show that only your weird cousin watched? The weird cousin who stuck stuff up their nose, then picked them up and act surprised at the fact that marshmallow could magically appear inside a nostril? Yeah, well that show has finally become a major motion picture ... and your cousin couldn't be happier. In the movie-version of Strangers with Candy, they'll be going all prequel on us, following the awfully bizarre Jerri Blank as she attempts to correct her life by returning to high school as a 46-year-old student.
- Have you ever heard the saying, "A couple in love is sweet, but a couple hooked on heroin is delicious?" Yeah, neither have I. But, I bet that's what will be on your mind once you leave the theater after seeing Candy. In the pic, Heath Ledger goes from gay cowboy to poetic needle addict and learns that love really is a drug ... that you stick in your arm and, according to that really nasty scene in Trainspotting, makes you go to the bathroom. Like, a lot.
- Have you ever been watching your favorite sports team just stink up the court/field/rink and though to yourself, "Gee, they may as well go into the stands for some help and let the guy with the beer mug throw the ball/puck around. Maybe then they'll be decent?" Well, Invincible sort of tells a story like that, only this fan decides to show up for a Philadelphia Eagles open tryout, instead of being called out from his seat. Mark Wahlberg plays a real-life man who tried out for his favorite sports team, made it and watched as his wildest dreams came true. Sweet!