Stone Village Productions is getting their slate for the next couple of years lined up, and they've hired a pair of Oscar-winning writers to get them started. The first is Ronald Bass (a winner for Rain Man), who has been brought on-board to write True Believer which, thankfully, is NOT a remake of the 1989 film, in which James Woods sported the worst hairdo known to man. Instead, it's an adaptation of The Notebook author Nicholas Sparks' novel of the same name, which examines the romance between a cynical science journalist and the granddaughter of a psychic. Aw - it's like Mulder and Scully, except in a "shrink-wrapped, reliably uncomplicated romantic confection that's light as air, smooth as silk and gloriously sweet." Yech. (And that's from the man's publicist - that sort of thing actually sells books?!)

The second scribe is Bo Goldman (he's got two Oscars, for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Melvin and Howard, but hasn't written a thing since Meet Joe Black), and he IS writing a remake, damn him. And it's not just any remake - it's Rififi, for the love of God, a movie that is perfect just the way it is, thanks very much. But, because Stone Village read "career thief", "wife left him while he was in prison", and "jewelry heist" and saw dollar signs, they're doing it again anyway, with Al Pacino in the starring role. Arg. Arg arg arg.