Welcome to Cinematical's live Oscar coverage. Erik covered the Red Carpet for us, and we have lots of screen shots - so it's almost as good as having been there yourself, only without all the annoying stuff from Ryan Seacrest. Summary of what we've seen so far:
- Ryan Seacrest wants everyone to know he likes girls; he especially likes Jessica Alba;
- Guiliana needs a bra or a heater, stat;
- George Clooney bought a new tux (his first in ten years), says he doesn't like any of the other nominees and Ang Lee might be a Communist;
- Jessica Alba looks hot, but her tattoo is ugly and we officially hate her for eating dessert and still looking hot;
- Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a great actor; but let's be honest - would an actress who looks like him get leading roles? Doubt it.
- Much speculation on the crucial issue of the stability of Reese Witherspoon's marriage;
- Felicity Huffman's dress just screams "One wrong move and it's a wardrobe malfunction!"
- Isaac nearly brings it on to Ryan for having the audacity to use Issac's favorite word, "darling".
This page will be periodically refreshed with links to our up-to-the-minute Oscar coverage, so check back often.
Cute bit with introducing the Oscar host: Billy Crystal.....no. Steve Martin!......no. Whoopi Goldberg?...Hell, no!
Okay, just kidding. It's Jon Stewart. They were just pulling our legs.
- Jon greets the crowd with: Ladies, Gentlemen....Felicity. Felicity isn't sure if that's funny or not.
- Nobody liked Stewart's night of a thousand sweatpants line. Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams don't look amused by Stewart's jokes about how poor the actors are.
- Jon on George Clooney: Good Night, and Good Luck isn't just the title of his film - it's how he ends all his dates.
- Bjork couldn't be here tonight - she was trying on her dress and Dick Cheney shot her. The Hollywood crowd loves Cheney jokes.
- What the hell is that on Charlize Theron's shoulder? It looks like a parrot landed on her shoulder.
- Ooooh. Joaquin didn't like the Walk the Line is Ray with white people line, but Jaime Foxx laughed.
And now...a montage of "gay" shots from Westerns. With the obligatory shot of Ledger and Gyllenhaal to see how they react to all those gay cowboys. This was actually very funny.